Dreamnotfound Oneshots

[6] Computers and Catastrophes pt.1

TRIGGER WARNING
contains self harm/suicide, bullying, mentions of abuse, and drug use so please don't read if you are sensitive to those topics! also this a highschool au

   "Please...you're strong I know you are, just stay awake a little longer please."

  I woke up groaning at the sound of my alarm. Every day it was so tempting to just fall back asleep, and not have to worry about the rest of the world; stay inside a happy fantasy in my head....But today was not that day. I trudged out of bed turning on my lamp, not wanting to deal with the brightness of my overhead light. I walked over to my wardrobe and pulled out a pair of black skinny jeans and a hoodie, putting on whatever shoes were thrown about on my floor and made my way to the bathroom.  I stared at myself in the mirror for a few seconds, but stopped when my face started morphing into something wrong and out of place, like a monster from my own nightmares. I sighed and looked down at my sink, brushing my teeth for much longer than necessary, and ran my fingers through my messy dark brown hair trying to fix it, but not really caring in the end what it looked like.

  I went downstairs and stood in the kitchen trying to decide if I wanted to grab something to eat on my walk to school. I noticed a note on the fridge that read 'George, I am working a double shift for the next three days. Probably won't see you for a few. I left money on the counter under the cookie jar. -mom' Suddenly I wasn't hungry anymore. I made my way towards the cookie jar to see how much money she left. There was about $150. I took a 20, stuffed it into the front pocket of my backpack, then walked out the door, locking it behind me.

  The walk to school is a good 20 minutes (35 is you took the scenic route), and I already knew I was going to be late today. I decided to take the scenic route anyways, not too worried about being late. Not like there was anyone at home to reprimand me anyways. The scenic view was a back way through the small woods and an old park that no one even knows exists. I used to go all the time with my mom and dad. I can't recall a single moment of happiness after I stopped going. I had almost passes it when I turned back around and decided to sit down on top at the base of the slide, pulling an almost empty pack of cigarettes from my hoodie pocket. I pulled a lighter from the pocket of my jeans and lit the cigarette quickly before taking a long drag. Too much thinking and it's not even 9am yet. I finished the cigarette, tossing it on the woodchips and putting it out with the heel of my shoe and stood back up, lingering for a moment before finishing my walk to school. First block was almost over but fuck homeroom anyways, as long as I was there for my actual classes. Not like it truly mattered anyways, I never pay attention; I just don't see the point, it's useless information that'll do fuck all for my future. I put my earbuds in and turned my volume all the way up as I walked up on the school entrance.

  There was no one in the front office when I walked in so I walked to the nearest bathroom and stalled til the bell for 2nd block rang. Maths. The absolute worst fucking class. I'd rather sit in the dirty bathroom than listen to my teacher drone on about applications of integration one more time. I walked into the classroom making brief eye contact with my teacher, than took my seat in the back corner of the classroom. An hour and 45 minutes of information I won't need when I'm an adult. mI kept my earbuds in, staring out the window the whole time thinking about what I'd do with my 3 days of complete freedom. The reality was I'd sit at home and do nothing, this happens every month and I always do the same thing; I never get invited anywhere anyways I couldn't go out even if I wanted to.

  The rest of my classes went the same as math, with me paying absolutely zero attention. It was finally lunch time which is about as it could be considering I have no one to sit with. I usually eat under the tree on the side of the building, I'm not the only person that sits there but we all silently agree to not speak. It's a relief, I rarely get interaction that I don't even want it anymore. Self-isolating is much easier. Can't disappoint anyone if there's no one to disappoint. I stopped at the vending machine on my way out, and bought myself an apple juice then headed to the tree and sat down against it. I took one of my earbuds out, enjoying the sound of the wind in the leaves, but kept the other one in and still at full volume so that way if anyone would walk by they wouldn't even try to talk to me. Not like I'd speak back if they tried.