1. Thomas: So I can either bake these cookies at 400 degrees for 10 minutes or 4,000 degrees for one minute.
Madison: Thomas, NO, THAT'S NOT HOW YOU BAKE COOKIES!!!
Thomas: Floor it?
Madison: THOMAS N O
Thomas: HOW ABOUT 4,000,000 DEGREES FOR 1 SECOND
Madison: THOMAS YOU'RE GOING TO BURN THE HOUSE DOWN
Thomas: I'M GOING TO HARNESS THE FUCKING SUN TO MAKE COOKIES
Madison: THOMAS P L E A S E
(Fun fact: I made this exact thread/scenario into a comic in 8th grade)
2. Alexander: When I try to spell something French, I'm kinda like "uhhhh, that's enough vowels French" and French is like "youe fooule... youe insouelente cowèurde!"
Laurens: It is scientifically impossible not to say that with a French accent.
Lafayette: Ehm, I'm French and please, we all don't talk like that argh!
Alexander: eUhMx i'M fReNcHe AnD pLeAzE oUi DoUn'T tAuLkE aLlEs LaEqUe ZàT aUrGhEx
3. Alexander: Isn't it weird that we pay money to see other human beings?
Maria: Are you talking about prostitution, the movies, or airplane tickets?
Reynolds: Glasses.
4. Burr: I wish I had more friends. :/
The Hamilsquad: Hey!
Burr:
Burr: ... what the fuck that was weird, anyways I wish I had friends
5. *Madison buys Thomas a VR headset for Christmas or his birthday, and Thomas is trying it out for the first time*
Thomas: I haven't felt the touch of a woman in so long. These honkers almost feel real!
Madison: *face palm*
6. ~ A Schuyler Sisters Conversation ~
Angelica: Since the ocean has meat, salt, and vegetables in it, it is technically a big thing of soup.
Eliza: But it's COLD. >:(
Peggy: The ocean is gazpacho
7. Philip: Hey dad
Alex: Yeah son?
Philip: Did you hear about Maya Hee?
Alex: Maya who?
Philip: Maya ha
Philip: Maya ha ha
Alex: Why
8. *playing cards against humanity, Madison as card czar and reading Alex's response*
Madison: When you get right down to it, an unhinged Ferris wheel rolling towards the sea is just... a windmill full of corpses.
Washington: Oh my fucking god
9. Laurens: Omg there's a wolf
Alex: Where?
Laurens: No the regular kind
10. Angelica, referring to Peggy: My sister recently walked into my room, grunted "oil", and promptly collapsed on the floor
Lafayette: Fuck she got possessed by America
11. ~ Another Schuyler Sisters Conversation ~
Peggy: What if rocks are actually soft but just tense up when we touch them?
Angelica: How stoned are you right now?
Eliza: Was that a fucking pun?
12. Lafayette: ...sixty-seven, sixty-eight, sixty-nine, sixty-ten...
Rest of the Hamilsquad: *stares*
Laf: *stares back*
Laf: ...sixty-eleven, sixty-twelve, sixty-thirteen...
Laf: ...sixty-six, sixty-ten-seven...
Rest of the Hamilsquad: *shutting eyes*
Laf: ...sixty-ten-eight, sixty-ten-nine...
Rest of Hamilsquad: *hands over their faces*
Laf: ...four twenties! :) Four twenties one...
13. Eacker, in the midst of his duel with Philip: AN OCTOPUS IS JUST A WET SPIDER!
Philip: WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?!?!
14. *texting*
Alex: Heyyy, beautiful, what are you up to?
Eliza: Nothing much, just horny, you?
Alex: Welllll, I'm horny too, I can come over if you want me to. ;)
Eliza: Lol, oh my gosh, I meant to say "I'm hungry"... but yeah, you can come over, bring me some food and tampons 'cause I'm on my cycle.
Alex: Naw, I'm good, I thought you were horny, get someone else to do that.
15. *texting*
Thomas: What if the 'g' in "gif" is silent
Madison: Go the fuck to sleep
Thomas: What gif I don't want to
Madison: Fuck off
I FEEL SO BAD THAT I HAVENT UPDATED THIS BOOK NOR ANY OTHER OF MY STUFF ON HERE IN A GOOD WHILE, school started on August 25th for me and my schedule's been pretty damn packed
So enjoy this while it lasts :)
YOU ARE READING
Hamilton (mis)Adventures!
FanfictionIn this book, the fanon Hamilton characters take part in crazy shenanigans! There are occasional fanfics, "Hamilscopes", and even just random Hamilton related stuff. Enjoy!
