This Summer (DMBB Spin-off)

Chapter 23: I've Got Her, I'll Bring Her Back

Trigger Warning

"When my time comes
Forget the wrong that I've done
Help me leave behind some reasons to be missed."

Song: Leave Out All The Rest ~ Linkin Park

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23. I've Got Her, I'll Bring Her Back

Ten days.

It had been ten days since I learned about Cameron.

Ten days since he died.

And my heart was heavy. It felt like an anchor had been tied to it, dragging it down. My head was completely submerged underwater, and I couldn't find it in me to ever bring myself back up.

Cameron was dead, and I could feel myself slipping under too. My depression had hit harder than ever because I stopped taking my medication.

I left him alone. If I had known he was suffering behind his smile I would have never kept my distance. I would have been there for him, hugged him, held him, and told him not to give up because we were in this together.

God if I only knew. What if there was something I could do? Or something I could say? Why would he choose to leave me when he knew it would kill me?

I knew he was struggling, but I never for a second thought that it would actually come to this. The worst part, I never got to say goodbye. I would give anything to hear his voice again. To see him smile, hear him laugh, run my fingers through his blonde hair.

I would give anything.

The days went by in a blur. I didn't do much...didn't say much...didn't eat much.

On day one, I couldn't even move. After Khalan managed to get me back to the ranch she helped me take a shower, and then got me into bed. I stayed in bed the entire day after that. I couldn't get up, I couldn't speak, I couldn't do anything.

Day two, nobody said anything to me. One by one they all just came in to take a quick look at me, but I was still the same. Pathetic and closed off, and still in bed.

Day three, the only thing I managed to do was to get up and go to the bathroom or take a shower. My friends decided to give me a little less space, Jacob especially. Sometimes he'd just sit on the ground and lean against the wall in silence. None of us spoke, but he'd just be there.

On the fourth day, I heard Renée say that they went to find Anthony at the diner. Cameron's funeral would be in two days. I wasn't surprised that it was that quick. It's not like a ton of people would be there, it was probably pretty simple to plan. I didn't want to hear it though. If he went into the ground, that means it would actually be over. He would actually be gone.

I wasn't ready for that.

On day five, the girls went out and got me a simple black dress. It's not like I packed one. I mean, I never thought at the beginning of the summer that I'd have a funeral to go to. It looked like it would fit, but I honestly didn't care. I couldn't bring myself to try it on and I didn't care if it looked nice or not.

I didn't want to wear it.

Day six was Cameron's funeral. I don't know how, but I managed to at least get onto my feet. When I stood, my body felt heavy, like it was being pulled to the ground, and all I wanted to do was sink to the floor.

The others didn't know Cameron as well as I had come to during the past month and a half, but I still appreciated that they were there with me. It was just us, Anthony, a woman who I assumed was his wife, and two other guys who I heard Anthony say had flown here just for this. They were probably his cousins. That was it. No parents, no other friends, no one else. It was just us.