This Summer (DMBB Spin-off)

Chapter 18: Welcome To My Hell

"Hold on to yourself
This is gonna hurt like hell."

Song: Hold On ~ The Rescues

***

18. Welcome To My Hell

They all stared at me, most likely contemplating whether to speak or not.

"Oh for goodness sakes say something," I said. "I'm not terminally ill for crying out loud."

Liam got up and walked over to me, pulling me into the tightest embrace.

He pulls away, hands on my shoulders, and looks at me. "You are so fucking brave. And also good to know that you're not dying."

I smiled a bit, glancing at Khalan for a brief second. "Yes well, hopefully it'll never come to that."

"Look," I said to everyone. "I know you guys have been tip toeing around me and all but please, don't bother. Break the damn eggshells okay? I've already seen the ugly side of all this, I'm very familiar with it."

"Okay so...what now?" Jessica asked. "Do you like...go to rehab or something?"

"God no," I replied. "I've spent too much time running into dead ends on their 'roads to recovery'."

It was true, that was why I ended up leaving every facility I had been checked into. They helped those who could adapt to that kind of environment, but I wasn't exactly up for activities like sitting in circles and baring my soul to people who would just smile and nod and say what they were supposed to say - that everything would be fine when it clearly wouldn't.

"What are you going to do then?" Tess asked.

"Well for starters, Khalan I'm going to need back the drugs you hijacked from my stuff."

Khalan rose an eyebrow. "I thought the whole point was to stop."

"She will," Jacob explained, finally saying something. "Only not in the way you think. She can't function without them, and so she'll have to stop bit by bit. If you cut her off completely the withdrawal will most definitely kill her."

I hope to God he knew all that just for the fun of it.

For the fun of it? Stupid.

"Wait, but how are yo-"

"I had a back up stash, but I'm almost through it," I admitted with a shrug. "What? Don't look at me like that, I just told you I'm an addict."

"Are you sure you want to do this here and not at a facility?" Shawn asked. "It sounds intense."

I nodded. "It is, but I can do it...I think. I have to anyway, long story, so if you guys are down to help me then I'm willing to comply."

"Of course we'll help you," Austin said.

"Then we start tomorrow," I announced, clapping my hands together. "Welcome to my hell."

*****

I sat down on the patio, staring at the sky. Jacob's habit was rubbing off on me, and if I might say, it was calming.

Jacob.

Cameron.

I was confused now more than ever. I cared about them both...a lot. I didn't want to mess that up and lose either.

I felt a presence beside me and I didn't have to look to know that it was Jacob.

"Nice night," he said after letting out a breath. "You can see a lot of stars tonight."