At Dusk

12

"I didn't say goodbye to my mother," I realize as I nervously play with my bandana that wraps around my wrist.

"It's fine, I told my mum that we were leaving, they will understand that you lost track of time, your friends that is" Harrison reassures me.

"That's the problem, they will never get mad at me even when I fuck up and I hate it, I was having fun and drinking while they sat around a hospital," I sigh staring out the window, "Weston's sick and I should be there for him because he would do the same for me if it was the other way around, he has always been there for me, they all have."

"Cameron just stop it, sometimes you have to be selfish, yes Weston is sick but he knows you are there for him, it would make any difference if you were sitting there watching him sleep or not, I know you love him but you need to have your own life to and not drown yourself in sorrows, and you know if it was the other way around you would forgive them, so stop being so hard on yourself, I know I don't know you that well and you probably don't give a shit what I think and I know you feel guilty but feeling guilty won't make him suddenly get better, you being there won't make him suddenly better, I also know that you just want them to yell at you and tell you that you are a shit person for not being there, but you aren't, they love you and know how crazy your life is and they understand, just like you would," Harrison yells at me giving me a reality check as he places his hand on mine.

I sigh looking off into the distance, leaving Harrison's hand on mine as it soothes me, Some of the guilt subsides but I still have this pit in my stomach as I beg for the driver to drive faster. The closer we get to the apartment the better I feel. I go through everything Harrison yelled at me over and over in my head and I guess he is right.

When we pull up outside the apartment I quickly sprint through the lobby with Harrison on my tail. I press the elevator button over and over again but nothing happens. Dread fills me as I see a maintenance man start to walk towards us.

"It broke earlier, you will have to use the stairs," he tells us making all the worries I had rush back.

"Great," I sigh unzipping my boots in order to run up the stairs as I hop over to the stairwell.

I run as if there is something chancing me, as if I am running for my life, the stairwell lights flicker the higher we get, I don't let the exhaustion set in, trying to manage my breathing, I have been through so much I can't let a set of stairs be my downfall. We keep on going up and up, round and round, hope slipping away of ever making it in time. I gasp for air as we reach the top and I push open the heavy door to the apartment throwing the boots on the floor and slipping out of my jacket.

"I'll be quick, there is water in the fridge," I pant, unzipping my skirt as I walk into my bedroom.

I strip down to my underwear before pulling on some very ripped blue jeans and rolling them slightly at the bottom, a white spaghetti strap crop top, the oversized denim jacket, longish white socks with two red stripes at the top and some white trainers. I tie my hair into basic plats before sticking on a blue beanie.

I look my self over, taking a deep breath, hoping everything will be fine when I get there and that I won't be too late. After a few seconds, I push open my bedroom door, walking into the common room.

"Let's go," I exclaim running over to Harrison as he throws me a bottle of water.

The stairs feel never-ending as we rush back down them even though we take some short cuts by jumping over banisters to get lower, faster, though it is much easier than going up. We jump in the car and the driver takes off before we even have our seatbelts on. My heart pounds in my chest feeling like it could burst and just fall onto the ground in front of me. A defining bang happens and the driver quickly pulls over.