At Dusk

18

Today is officially my eighteenth birthday. It feels like I have only been here for a week but at the same time, it feels like a lifetime. I have such a big choice to make that will not only affect my life but everyone's around me. Do I stay and become Chancellor or do leave maybe passing up the chance to do what I came here for.

I wake up to the guys singing me happy birthday while holding a cake. I have been dreading this day for so long forgetting that today is a day for celebration, I'm eighteen now, I'm an adult.

"Happy birthday Cam," They smile as I blow out the candles.

"Thanks, guys," I smile.

They sit down on my bed and we all start to eat the cake. It's delicious and fudgy and the best ice cream cake I have ever had.

We head out to the kitchen as it begins to melt and they all start to give me presents. I open Oliver's first and I begin to burst out laughing as I pull a pack of toilet paper out of the bag with a note attached saying 'I finally got you something you can use' as he normally gets me gag gifts. I thank him, once I stop laughing,and then I open Dylan's. I open the tiny box revealing a silver necklace with a simple wave on it.

"Weston told me you always dreamed of going to the coast, I got it before," Dylan croaks.

"I love it," I smile with tears in my eyes.

Lastly I open Hayes, which is also a small box with a bracelet inside. Three charms consisting of a sun, a moon and a star hang from it.

"Thank you guys," I smile hugging them, "Wait who's this from?" I ask as Oliver hands me  big box.

"All of us," Oliver smiles.

"You didn't have too," I smile, lifting off the lid and peeling back the blue tissue paper.

I start to cry happy, slightly sad, tears as I look at the framed photo of Dylan, Weston, Oliver, Hayes and I from just before Weston died.

"I, thank you," I blurt out before running out onto the balcony grasping onto the rail, overrun with emotions.

I'm terrified of what is going to happen after I make this decision, nothing will ever be the same, nothing feels right about this situation.

"Are you okay?" Hayes asks me placing his hand on my back as I try to calm down.

"Why is it so hard to do what is expected of me?"

"If it's hard maybe it isn't right, if you love something it should never be hard," Hayes tells me.

"I wanted this life my whole life, why do I regret what I once wanted so badly?"

"Sometimes you want something that is wrong for you but you didn't know it was wrong until after it happened and sometimes we make things out to be better in our heads and it never lives up to it," Hayes starts, "There is one more gift."

He hands me a small package wrapped in newspaper. I peel off the tape and outcomes a blue bandana and a note, it reads 'Happy Birthday Cam, I will always love you ~ Weston. P.S I think it's time to retire that bandana.'

The tears roll down my face like a waterfall smudging the writing upon the note.

"You need to speak your mind even if your voice shakes," Hayes gives me one last piece of advice before heading back inside.

Suddenly everything Harrison was going on about makes sense. I have met all the people who have made me who I am. I have love, happiness and joy. I have sorrow, hurt and pain. I have struggled and I have accomplished so much and now I just need to have high hopes.