So Into You

CHAPTER 22

"Just listen to me please," he says

"Why should I? You got what you wanted, right?" I know there has to be a reasonable explanation for what I just saw, but I don't want to listen to anything he has to say.

"You know it's not like that." he runs his hands through his hair.

"Clearly, I don't know anything, you and Cami have something special. I have nothing more to say to you." He attempts to grab my arm, and I add, "Don't!"

I turn on my heels and walk away from him, I know if I stay I'll say things I might regret. The tears are flowing freely down my cheeks, and I can't stop them. Somewhere deep down, I knew this would happen. I knew opening up my heart to Harry would break me, and here we are.

I gave him everything, I tried not to let my heart lead me, but it did. The logical part of me knew getting involved with Harry would end up in a disaster, and nan was right, he has to love you way more than you love him. The fact is, I'm hopelessly in love with him, and I don't know what to do.

Somehow, I find myself back at the flat. I take off my clothes and turn on the shower, I crouch down and cry. I cry for the boy I love; I cry for the fact that he doesn't feel the same way, and I cry because I feel like this is a huge mess. The water pours over me, and my tears silently fall along with it.

I don't notice that the water has started to become warm. I just feel numb. Suddenly there's a knock on the door, and I hear.

"Babes? Are you in there?" It's Niamh. I can't find my voice to answer her though,

"We just want to know you're okay," Iris adds.

If there were a moment for me to stop being stubborn and just pour out my heart to my friends, it would be now.

I force myself to stand up and wrap my robe around me. When I open the door, they're both standing there, one look at their faces, and I burst into tears again. They throw their hands around me and lead me to my bedroom. Once I'm sitting on my bed, I let it all out. My body shakes as the hurt and emotions wrack through me.

Iris and Niamh stay silent as I tell them everything in between tears and stuttering. I tell them how everything began, everything I've been hiding from them. When I look up, I can see the slight hurt in their eyes over the fact that I've been keeping this from them. But they both keep holding me as I unload all this weight I've been carrying around the last few weeks.

When I'm done, they don't say anything at first, but Niamh just says.

"Sleep, babe."

They tuck me into bed and lay with me till I fall asleep.

I'm awake early the next morning, my throat feels hoarse, and my eyes are swollen. I don't remember the last time I cried this much. I didn't even cry this much when homeboy from first-year played me, but then again, I wasn't in love with him. With Harry, it's completely different; I'm head over heels. I don't know how I'm going to function; everything still feels so raw.

My mind goes back to last night, the excitement I felt knowing I was going to see him again after a few days. I just wanted to be in his arms and spend time with him away from everyone else. When we're together, it feels we're in our bubble, and it's the most amazing feeling. But then it all came crashing down when I saw her walk out of his room.

I had been waiting for his text, and he was with her. I don't want to think about what might have happened between them, because it will only hurt me more. It feels so surreal, one minute I was the happiest I'd been in a long time and the next it was an utter disaster. When I turn my phone back on, I have multiple messages come in, and they're all from Harry.