Keeping Faith

Chapter Seven: Value In Lost

Faith sat beside David on the couch. They had prayed and cried a lot together since Jonathan and Sharla had went to the hospital the night before. They only hoped Sharla and Jonathan would be able to find comfort in the son they still had.

Faith admired David and his strength. His courage when faced with adversity. He had seen the worst in life and yet his faith never wavered. His thankfulness for life and his love for others never diminished. It grew.

Faith shook her head, "I've never had someone treat me so good...I don't deserve it."

"Oh yes, you most certainly do!" he confirmed.

She sighed, "You are far too good for someone like me. I'm not good enough. I have no value."

He turned to face her, "Faith, you are good enough. You're better than enough. There is no one better. I wish I could help you understand that...I'm sorry for the way you've been treated in the past. He was stupid. A real man will never hurt a woman. He'll never make her cry because he knows that God counts every one of her tears. Woman came from a man's rib, not from his feet to be walked on. And not from his head to be superior, but from his side to be equal. Under his arm to be protected and next to his heart to be loved..."

He paused and wiped her tears with his handkerchief, "Don't ever let someone tell you that you're not good enough! If the person you're with can't see how amazing you are then they are the one who is not good enough. Your value doesn't decrease based on someone's inability to see your worth. If you could see yourself, just for one day, with my eyes — then you'd see how everyone else sees you — how I see you. You are enough! You are valuable! And you are beautiful!"

Faith took his handkerchief from him and wiped her eyes, she didn't want to cry so much. He was such a good man. She couldn't understand how he could be so kind and loving.

She changed the subject when she asked, "Well what did you do last night after I went to bed?"

He smiled, "Last night I was feeling thankful...so I looked up into the stars and matched each one with a reason why I love you and I was doing great, until¾"

"Until what?" Faith inquired.

"Until I ran out of stars."

Her heart melted.

He grinned, "What? Too corny?"

She shook her head, "No..."

She leaned over and gently kissed his cheek, "I just hope I don't disappoint you." She whispered. He smiled, "Now that is one thing that you could never do."

Sharla sat in the hospital bed while she waited to be released from the hospital.

A tear fell silently down her cheek, her eyes were damp and swollen from hours of crying. She still couldn't believe it. Just a few hours ago she had given birth to two baby boys. Twins. Not one thing seemed wrong with either of them the entire pregnancy...and yet, now she was only going home with one. Kevin. Their little miracle baby. Devin just hadn't been able to breathe. Sharla blamed herself.

She knew in her heart that there was nothing that she could have done, but there was still a piece of her that wanted something to blame. She guessed that it was easier to blame herself than anyone else. Jonathan was taking it hard too she could tell. He held it in though for her.

That made her angry. She couldn't understand how he could just seem to move on without a care. "Be thankful," he told her, "we still have a son. He needs us now. We can have more babies later." But she knew there would never be any others. She couldn't bear to lose another one.

Nine months does a lot for a woman. For a mother. All the time spent keeping your child safe and warm. Knowing you can protect it. That it's shielded from the dangers of the world.

"You lose a piece of yourself when you give birth." She'd heard other mothers say...and they were right. It's as if your heart is running around outside of you and you have no way of keeping it. Because it grows and starts taking on its own life and starting a family of its own. You can't protect your children like you once had...and for a mother that is perhaps one of the most tragic things of all.

She only wished she had more time with him, but she knew that it would have been much worse if she had. Nevertheless, she still wanted it. She wanted to see him learn to talk and walk, ride a bike, hit his first homerun...fall in love.

A tear fell upon her lap, then another and another until she was in a full sob. She would never get to experience that with Devin. A mournful cry swelled up from the small crib beside her. Kevin.

She hurried to his side and wrapped him in her arms, "Oh there, there little one. I'm here, momma's got you...my sweet Kevin." She gently placed a kiss atop his head and began to rock him softly.

She wiped the tears from her eyes and began to hum an old hymn. Silently she began to thank God for His mercy.

Finally, she realized that not all had been lost. She still had her family, a loving husband and a precious baby boy to love. God had blessed her. He was a loving and gracious God, not cruel and punishing. Perhaps He was saving Devin from a more terrible fate that would have been ahead in his future.

As much as she wanted to have her son with her again, she knew in her heart that God had a master plan. Devin didn't belong to her...neither did Kevin. They were God's children. He just trusted her to look out for them.

For whatever reason Devin had been taken from them wasn't important now. What was important was that they did have Devin, even if only for a short time ¾ Kevin was still with them and there was still so much to be thankful for.