Keeping Faith

Chapter Thirty: The Visitor

     Faith's gaze rose till her eyes reached the top of the hospital. The bold letters protruded from the surface of the building itself, causing one's attention to fall directly on them.

St. Andrews was known for their psychiatric ward and the steadily rising drug addiction program. Faith drew in a deep breath, this was it. No running away. She would walk through those doors and stand by David in whatever way he needed her.

As a friend or as the one he wanted to share his life with. Whichever he decided, she would be there for him as he had always been for her.

Max pawed at the taxi door and whimpered. The cab driver questioned, "Lady, are you sure this is the place your friend is?" She sighed, she wished it wasn't. She wanted to tell the man to drive somewhere else. She didn't want to admit that David was in a place like this. With melancholy in her voice, she replied, "Yes, this is it."

She paid the man and took hold of Max's leash. He kept pulling harder and jerking from her grasp. It was as though he also knew that David was close by.

Faith padded his head, "It's alright, boy. I'm sure he'll be happy to see you." As for herself, she wasn't sure what his reaction would be having her there.

Would he be happy or angry that she knew about his condition? She could turn around and go back home before anyone saw her. He would never know the difference. In fact, no one would know she had been there at all.

But you would know... her subconscious reminded her. She wrapped the leash tighter around her hand, having second thoughts.

Max barked and whimpered and bolted from her. She gasped, "No, Max! Come back!" Faith ran after him as fast as her feet could carry her. She wanted to kick herself for letting her mind get so carried away. Faith Johnson if you lose Max, David will never forgive you!

Jenny walked alongside David slowly as they made their way back to his room. David was thankful for her kind words and her faith in God. That was something he admired in others since he was a Christian himself...but over the last few days his faith had seemed to fail him.

He felt lost, alone and afraid. He had never felt so helpless and desperate in his life. Though he knew better than to share that information with those around him. He was still praying, but the drugs where still controlling him in such a way that made him want to shut down.

He needed help, but no one could help. He needed peace, and no one was able to give it. He wanted closure and all he had were unanswered questioned.

How could he go back to the life he had before? He wasn't the same man...and no amount of therapy was going to reverse the effects the drugs had placed on him.

With every passing day he was losing more of himself. David closed his eyes for a brief moment and gave a silent prayer: Lord, please help me...give me some sign that You are still with me. Let me know I'll be alright.

A dog barked in the distance as David continued to force himself to walk forward. With every step gaining a little more courage to keep trying. The barking continued, growing louder. Closer...more familiar.

David turned as Max reached him. He jumped at David full force, knocking him and the IV pole to the ground. Jenny yelled for Security, thinking that her patient was being attacked.

Max whimpered, waged his tail vigorously and engulfed David with a dozen doggie kisses.

For the first time in months, for the first time since he left home — a laugh sprang from David's lips. A joyful laugh that filled him with hope. Hope that he would indeed find his way back to them...even if it took a fight.

"Max! Max, it's okay buddy!" David exclaimed as he tried to calm his friend. Faith screamed, "Max! Get off him, come here boy!" Max ignored her, but David didn't. He raised himself enough to see if it was just another hallucination, or if God was being gracious.

Jenny shook her head as Security arrived, "I um, I think it's ok...he seems to know this dog." David explained to the security guard, "Yeah, he's mine. Everything's fine."

He was able to give Faith a genuine smile as she knelt beside him. It was the first smile he didn't have to force since the ordeal began. He was truly happy to see her.

She was happy to see him too, he gathered from the affectionate smile she gave him in return. There seemed to be more to her smile than just affection, though it remained unspoken, David wondered if her smile held relief as well as affection.

However, that would have to take so exploring on his part and it would have to wait until later. He wasn't repaired to walk down that road now. And not in the presents of strangers. So, for now David simply reconfirmed his statement, "Everything is just fine now."

Faith gave his hand a gentle squeeze, "I can't tell you how good it is to see you." Jenny cut in before David could return Faith's sentiment, "Yes, I'm sure a friendly face is a relief for David as well. I know you just arrived, but I really do need to get David back to his room. He needs his rest."

Faith stood, "Oh, yes. Yes, of course. I'm sure David does need his rest." David's blood began to boil, how dare they talk about him as though he was a child in need of parental supervision, "Would you both stop talking about me like I wasn't here!"

Max whimpered, David glanced at his furry companion. His hand had taken a death grip in Max's fur. He released his hand, "Sorry, boy. I don't know what came over me." Max laid his head on David's knee. David took it as his way of telling him he was forgiven.

Faith brushed David's arm, "I'm sorry, David. What do you want?" "To go to my room."

That was a lie. What he wanted was to go home, but he knew that wasn't going to happen any time soon. He wanted to go back in time and reverse everything, to refuse to go on that assignment, or to leave when he had the chance. He wanted to change everything. He wanted to be David again...yet he feared the man he once was, was gone for good. He would never be the same again.

Not now. Not after everything that had happened. But Faith couldn't understand that. Wouldn't understand that...and how could he ask her to? How could he ask any of them to understand?

Even if they did comprehend the situation, they wouldn't understand what it felt like...he was falling apart. He wanted to lock himself away until it was all over. Maybe go to sleep and wait it out like a bear hibernating in winter. His winter was here...if only he could sleep till the spring.