Your First Can Never Be Your Always

Chapter 15

When do you know you are in love? I just spent more than five hours watching a handsome beast's chest contract and relax to his resting heart's command and I feel something. I am jealous. I want to be him despite all his faults. Maybe I would take everything along with his faults. He is so peaceful. He knows that he has it all. Money, good looks and a proper family. All that my heart desires. It is about to be morning, signaling my time to sleep. I lightly move my right hand from underneath the covers.

Don't do it.

He wouldn't know. Would he?

Is this love?

Put your hand love.

Love? He calls me that.

His lips, my lips.

Will I feel something?

Toby intimately placed his hand on her waist. He pulled her to his chest colliding both their worlds differently. Olivia was awake and unsettled whereas Toby was heavily asleep trapped in his own dreamland. ''Olivia just allow it to happen,'' suggested my mind as I nervously and irritably moved my body sideways in attempt to escape his strong grip.

''Hey ugh please let me go.'' I take a long breath and calm myself down. I mean he is probably holding a rock in his dream. I'm am nothing like a rock.

''I uh...you are sleeping and this is inappropriate but I'm going to do it anyway.'' I was not surprised by my actions. If you were sleeping next to hunk making your lungs and stomach burst into flames, what would you do? I did have a habit of talking to myself so that was less embarrassing.

''Thank you for helping me when I had a panic attack. I didn't plan for that to happen,'' I whispered after reaching out my hand to touch his beautiful nose with my index finger whilst fighting off the irritation of his touch on my skin.

''I'm going to kiss you right now and don't freak out because I know I'm not. Obviously I have done this before. A thousand times. So here it goes.''

Did I do it?

''Of course not, you are a few inches away from up there! I need to pull out of your grip,'' she complained climbing onto him ashamed of her poor performance and height. She felt like she had been climbing up a polar bear. He was my Teddy bear.

''Hello again sleepy ah person? Here it goes.''

Am I doing this right? No you haven't touched his lips yet.

She gave up. She could not do it. Not like that. I guess karma is a bitch sometimes. I know this phrase has nothing to do with this but I could not do it. Instead I closed my eyes and slept awaiting the new day.

***

Great, she's getting up!

''Rise and shine love,'' I teased noticing how she was miffed by something.

''I hate you,'' she said sarcastically pissed off at the natural light.

''Good thing you are up I can't move yet alone breathe.''

''What do you me-'' asked Olivia and paused realizing that she was on top of him. On top!

''Why did you put me here?'' she questioned trusting herself very much that she had not to gotten herself on top of him.

''Love I wouldn't,'' I clarified. I would have but could not. I knew how sensitive she was about these things.

''Okay sorry. I have a habit of moving a lot in my sleep.''