Sanders Sides High School AU

Chapter 10

A/N: This is a bit of a heavier chapter since i really needed to vent, so please read with caution. If you truly can't read this chapter, I'll summarize it at the end for you . ALSO, i just wanted to mention that one thing I'll never include in my stories is s*lf h*rm since that's a big trigger for me

TW: abusive speech, assault, implied r*pe (don't worry, I'll never write out anything too bad in detail, i don't want to trigger myself or anyone else. stay safe everyone and make sure you know your limits), description of appearance afterwards, self-hate

"J-Janus..?" My heart pounded inside of my chest as I stared in disbelief at my ex, who was standing in my room.

"H-how did y-y-you get in h-here..?" I questioned, taking a careful step back.

He laughed in a way that sent a chill down my spine. "Oh honey, there's nothing a little money won't do."

"M-money..?" I took another step back and reached for the door handle, cursing myself for locking it. Janus smirked as he quickly approached me and pulled me by my arm, causing me to release the handle before I could unlock it. He slammed me harshly against the wall, pinning me there as he brought his mouth next to my ear. "Your dad sure is easy to convince with a bit of money," he whispered dangerously.

-------TW START-------

Janus grabbed my chin with his other hand that wasn't pressing me against the wall and tilted my face up to look at him. He swiftly smashed his lips against mine and immediately forced his tongue into my mouth. I felt sick to my stomach and let my hot tears flow freely down my face.

I guess Father really couldn't give two fucks what happens to me. I really miss mom...

I tried as much as I could to shove him off of me and strained to turn my head away from his. He suddenly stopped and pulled away, slapping me harshly. "Stop fucking struggling. You knew you had this coming to you."

I felt my knees getting weak as my resolve was quickly dissipating. I grew numb to his touches and at one point felt myself being thrown to the ground. My tears had stopped and I began dissociating. At one point I passed out, everything around me turning dark.

-------TW END-------
(I'm just gonna say this real quick: even though the main TW ended, the aftermath could still potentially be triggering so please read with caution. I mainly decided to take the book this route because, as I said at the beginning of the first chapter, this book was started as a way to vent. i haven't been feeling too hot lately, so this chapter just reflects that)

I woke up hours later on the carpeted floor of my bedroom, and was met with an immediate wave of pain. I rose from where I lay and sat up with a wince, seeing my clothes next to me on the ground. The memories of what happened came flooding back into my head and I felt my heart throbbing with pain in my chest as tears welled in my eyes. My breathing became heavy and I hugged myself protectively.

Again, why did I let it happen again... This is all my fault, I deserved this...

After I let myself cry for a good while, I took a deep breath and did the best I could to calm myself down. I stood up with weak legs and held onto my dresser for support. My legs were shaking badly and I knew if I let go of the dresser I would surely collapse again.

I made my way over to my bathroom by holding onto the wall and looked at myself cautiously in the mirror. I felt my tears in my eyes once more as I took in my appearance. I had bite marks, hickies, and scratches along my chest, neck, and shoulders. I didn't even want to look down, I was scared to.

I stepped into the shower and let the water run soothingly on me for a minute. Suddenly I felt my heart stop as I felt the ghost of the touch of his hands on my body, the feel of his lips on mine, his tongue searching my mouth, his nails digging into my back - all of it.

I slid to the floor of the shower and let all my emotions spill out again. "Please... please stop.." I muttered to myself. After around thirty minutes the feelings faded and I rose shakily from the ground and continued my shower. I scrubbed my skin harshly, trying to rid myself of him, and my skin glowed a bright pink. After I had scrubbed every inch of my skin, I stepped out of the shower wrapped in a towel.

After returning to my room, I threw the clothes I was wearing before into my trashcan and I shivered. I knew I couldn't bring myself to wear those clothes ever again. I slipped on a mauve pullover hoodie and black sweatpants, sliding carefully underneath my sheets so I wouldn't hurt myself. I lay in bed, the silence around me becoming deafening. The silence left too much room to think. I didn't want to think, I didn't even want to feel.

I'm disgusting. I'm such a slut for letting him just use me like that for the second time. Why didn't I try harder? Why didn't I scream? Why?

I was brought back to reality when I felt a stinging pain in my palms, and I realized I was digging my nails into my skin. With a defeated sigh I sat back up, knowing I wouldn't be able to sleep. I grabbed my phone and glanced at the time, which read 1:33am. I looked out the window and it was pretty dark outside as well. Judging from the silence in the house, Father likely never came home and is probably out cheating on Mom with some bimbo he met.

I didn't want to be home when he returned so I stood from my bed, ignoring the searing pain, and grabbed my backpack for school, making sure to bring an extra set of clothes. I changed out of the sweatpants I wore and into a pair of black jeans so I didn't have to change my pants for school the next day. After making sure I had everything I needed I painfully made my way out of the house.

I knew I was limping, but I bore through the pain and walked down the sidewalk. I debated with myself whether I should risk going back to that park I slept at last time, weighing out the pros and cons.

If I go to the park, there's the off chance I'll run into those guys again, though I can just choose a different spot.. But what if there's a different person there and they're even more dangerous?!

I then remembered that Roman and Remus told me they walk through the park every day before school, since they live right nearby.

I should be fine if they're there, they've both helped me before. They care about me, right? Right?

I was lost in my thoughts and at one point I just thought 'fuck it' and made my way towards the park, my exhaustion suddenly hitting me like a ton of bricks. I made it to the park and found a different bench to sit on, laying down on it. I shivered slightly and pulled my jacket over myself, placing my head down on my backpack. Fighting with my racing thoughts, I felt my eyes drooping closed and I gratefully let sleep overtake me, not noticing the pair of eyes watching me from the darkness of the park.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Chapter Summary: Virgil is r*ped by Janus and wakes up on the floor in pain. After showering he attempts to relax and sleep but to no avail. He eventually decides to leave the house, not wanting to be there when his dad returns. Virgil makes the decision to return to the park and he manages to fall asleep on a bench, but is unaware that he was being watched.