Grimm Tales Redux - Pub-Verse Crossover Contest

At A Loss (AwSprite) FFF Entry (1)

At A Loss

December 23rd 

Life seems empty of meaning since my last trick failed. Darkness has become a living entity inside me, blotting out my once cheerful and mischievous nature. I feel nothing entwined with sudden bouts of seething anger. How dare that girl win my game. Every fibre of my being strains to know how she won. 

Even as snowflakes line the earth and northern winds sear my skin, this one question burns within my soul. Christmas is just a few days away, and I have no-one to pass the time with. No-one to tease or mock. Even speaking of this while I write, I can feel my blood heat, an inferno coiling and churning hidden within my gut. Irritation prickles beneath my skin, as I glance at evergreen holly hung in decorative chains and wreaths. Christmas carols chafe my heart, their light and forgiving spirit eating away at my darkness. Yet still I stubbornly cling to my inner turmoil, I refuse to let another possession of mine be taken. 

Joyful dancing and parading children frolicking in the streets innocent and so unguarded. Just to gaze upon them brings forth a sickening feeling. Once I would have chosen one to play my game, but now I refuse for fear of losing a second time. I have never tasted the sour and bitter emotion before, but now it lives constantly, balancing on the tip of my tongue. Curse that wretched girl. May she wander off and be forever lost to all. I should not be alone and suffering, I should be reaping the rewards of my one sided game. 

I feel so cut adrift, yet unmoving and caged. I have no idea how this is possible but it is, and I loathe it. I'm unable to abide living in this body much longer for it is, along with my thoughts a constant reminder of my failure. I guess I shall see what tomorrow brings, and woe betide any Christmas well wishers.