Zara || A Nigerian Lesbian

𝚌𝚑𝚊𝚙𝚝𝚎𝚛 𝚝𝚠𝚎𝚗𝚝𝚢-𝚝𝚠𝚘

𝚉𝙰𝚁𝙰
━━━━━━━━━▲━━━━━━━━━

After the talk with Nena, all I wanted to do was to get this love thing with Yasmin over and done with. But I didn't know what that would mean.

I decided to head to Yasmin's house and talk to her since she said we needed to talk. Yet hadn't called or texted in five days. "Who does that?" I asked myself as I drove to her house.

If time was what Yasmin needed, I would give it to her, but I needed to know for myself. We needed to come to terms with if she even wanted a long term relationship.

Getting to the gate, the security guard walked towards my new McLaren GT. "Zara, good evening."

"Evening, sir. I know I don't have an appointment, but can you tell Yasmin that I am here?"

"Ok. Let's hope that Madam is happy to see you."

Same here, sir, let's hope so, I thought as he went back to make a call. Moments later, the gate opened wide for me to drive in.

Yasmin was standing in the driveway as I pulled up. She wore a tank top and denim shorts that revealed her legs. Sexy and smooth.

"Zara, I am so sorry I was going to call you. Kelani and I are going back to the States, she has to get back to school." She told me as I got out of the car.

I scoffed within. This woman wasn't serious. "And you did not think to tell me? What if I didn't stop by to check on you? Why does everyone not take me seriously? Am I that stupid?"

"Let's go to the balcony, sit down and have a civil conversation," she suggested.

Of course, what else could I do? I didn't know if I was right to be upset, or I had to calm down and just listen to what she had to say. Too many emotions were running through me right now, and I didn't know which to stick with.

Zara had every right to be upset. I led her on, and now I was running away—but I had to, that was the only way I could protect her.

"Yasmine, see, I know there's a lot on your plate right now," Zara continued. "Who knows, maybe this is not the right time to go into a serious relationship, especially in the society we live in. We both need time to figure out if this is the path we want to follow, and we don't have to decide now."

Zara, I love you. I told myself not able to say it to her. I leaned back in the swing chair and stared at her. All I could see was love laced with uncertainty. I was running away from love because of this society and her safety, but I forgot to see that I could help change that. There were many people like us, living in fear of what the government would do to them if caught or the jungle justice they could face.

"Yasmin, say something."

I had to tell her. "Zara, there is something I have to tell you." I didn't wait for her response, so I continued, "You are not the first person I am going to be in a relationship with, here in Nigeria. The first person I had a relationship with died in the hands of barbarians because she was caught in the act with me. I wasn't touched because I was an influential figure in government, and no one wanted to go to jail for touching or harassing the wife of a senator."

Her eyes widened in shock, with her mouth open. "How did I not see this on the internet? Why am I being told of this now?"

"With the right funds, the images and videos were taken off the internet for good. And, I am sorry I haven't told you until now, I didn't want to lose you."

Her brows formed a crease, "Lose me? Why would you lose me when you are open to me? Even if I would have loved you to tell me earlier, I know these kinds of things happen. That's the country we live in, we either get used to it or change it."

"I know," I said with a partial smile. Deep down, I knew the change had to come one way or the other.

"Does your daughter know?" Zara asked.

I know Zara cared, but I didn't think she would care about my relationship with Kelani. "Have you tried talking to a nineteen-year-old girl? It's a struggle I deal with, but the truth is, I didn't know how to tell her. After Emenike divorced me when he got wind of my relationship with a woman, and when she died—I threw myself into work. It became easier to be at the office or traveling around the world, as time went on. I paid for the best maid to care for Kelani, maybe that could show how much I loved her."

I paused for a minute and took a deep breath, trying to hold back the tears.

"I was so wrong. Kelani needed me to be there for her, make breakfast when she wakes up, give her a hug when she is back from school and talk about her day, or even get to know her friends. I didn't do even half of all that."

"You can still make up for all of that," Zara said as she placed her hand on mine.

"I doubt. I became emotionally unavailable, even to my own child. Losing the first woman I truly loved hurt so much that I had no idea what to feel anymore. That wasn't what I wanted, but it all changed when I met you." Leaning forward, I said to her, "I know it may sound crazy, but from the first time I saw you at the restaurant, I knew there was a chance for me to fall in love again. I wasn't sure how, though."

Her lips curved into a sweet smile. "Yasmin, it's alright. I won't say I understand what you are going through, but I am trying to. Only God knows the sorrow you have endured for so long, even knowing how difficult it could be to love someone else."

I could feel the tears coming as I held her hands tight. "That's not even it. I felt that if I fall in love with you that I won't be able to love Belema anymore."

"No, don't say that. I can never replace her, no matter how hard I try. I will love you the way I know how to love you, but I will never ask you to stop loving her. All I need to know is that you love me as much as I do."

Inside of me shattered to pieces. "When I am with you, Zara, I want to love you. Right now, and right here, it is easy to love you, but I know you deserve more."

Her eyes were getting glassy, filled with tears threatening to fall. "I need to know you will not only love me now but tomorrow and the day after that. The rest... we will figure it out together."

I took her into my arms and kissed her. "I do love you. But for your safety and your life, you deserve more. I am not what you need in your life right now."

This was the only way. If the change had to come, she needed to be far away from me until it was done. No one else was going to get hurt or die on my watch—not even Zara.

The end has come, but has it? We are just getting started people... grab your pop corn as we wait for new chapters to roll in! We are at 27,000 words...23,000 more to go (if we can!).
Did you expect Yasmin to break up with Zara at this point?