Atonement

•34•

•Aurie's Pov•
I sneaked out of Haz's room this morning, knowing that he needs to sleep. I was so tired and half asleep last night that I didn't even fully comprehend that shit went down, so the surprise I feel when I see a gigantic hole in the wall being worked on by construction workers makes my eyes widen.
"Crazy huh?" Tom says.
"Yeah.." I breath out.
"Why didn't you wake me up?"
My head whips around, seeing Haz standing behind us.
"Didn't wanna wake you. You need sleep." I say.
"Actually, I need to talk to you." He says.
His tone is serious, and his hands clasp together tightly. He only does that when he's nervous.. oh god what is going to happen.
"Alright." I nod, walking off with him towards his office.
He shuts the door behind him, and I sit on the black leather couch against the wall. My hands feel shaky and I hold back my tears. I know exactly what he's about to do.
"Haz please don't.." I say as he sits down.
"Please don't what?" He asks.
"Don't break up with me.. I know I was difficult last night while that was happening and I didn't listen but I don't think that means you should break up with me-"
"Baby nooo." He shakes his head, cupping my cheeks in his hands. "I'm not breaking up with you. Are you kidding me? Why would I do that?"
A sense of relief washes over me, the tears that were threatening to fall stop and I instantly calm down.
"Did you really think that's what I was doing?" He asks.
"Mhmm." I nod, looking at the ground.
"Aurie I love you." He says, tilting my chin up to look into his eyes. "You're never going to loose me."
"Promise?" I ask.
"I promise." He smiles, pressing a light kiss to my lips.
"Okay.. what did you need to talk to me about then?" I ask.
He gets nervous once more, what could possibly be that bad?!
"Don't get mad." He says.
"Okay.." I trail off.
"Tonight you and Tom will be flying out to California for three days." He says.
"Excuse me? What?" I say.
He's sending Tom and I to California? Why the fuck would he do that? The last thing I want to do is be in another country with Tom.
"We have an address and are ready to go raid the place and take them out. I cannot do my job if I'm worried about you, darling." He says.
"I'm going with you." I say.
"No. You're not. You're going to California where I know you're safe." He says sternly. "If I fuck this up because I'm too busy worrying about you, it could end in you dying. I'm not going to risk your life."
I take a deep breath, trying to keep myself from raising my voice at him.
"I'm not fragile and I don't need you to protect me." I state.
"Baby please." He pleads. "Just do this for me. Go to California. It's going to be dangerous and my mind needs to be clear and focused. I know you are strong and able, but after what's happened I can't trust that you're safe."
As much as I want to hold onto my pride, prove myself, tell him I'm just as able as he is, I get it. If he's focused on me, he won't be able to focus on the job at hand. He's just trying to do what's best for the mob and I completely support that because I love these men like they're my family. If Marcus got ahold of me and killed me, he'd take over the mob and ruin it for everyone I love.
I have to do what's best for the mob.. and I guess that means not being around.
"Okay." I nod.
Haz lets out a breath of relief, grabbing my hand in his.
"I'm sorry it has to be this way, but if he killed you I'd never forgive myself." He says.
"It's okay.. three days on a sunny beach with Tom doesn't sound too bad." I shrug and he raises his brow at me.
"You just want to see him shirtless." He scoffs.
"Yep. Definitely." I nod. "There's nothing sexier than a guy that's called me psychotic."
"I mean.. he's not wrong." Haz teases and my mouth drops.
"You're a bitch!" I laugh.
"Ugh! Take it back." He says.
"Nope. You're a bitch." I repeat myself.
"You're in a world of trouble missy." He shakes his head at me.
He grabs my wrists pushing me back on the couch and holding them above my head. I giggle as he kisses my face all over, then booping my nose with his.
I pull my hands from his grasp, grabbing his face to kiss his lips passionately. My first boyfriend, my first real relationship, my first love. I can't wait for this nightmare to be over with so we can be together and be happy.
We don't even know what it's like to be together without all the drama.. Our relationship has only existed in a world with fear, pain, and death. I can only imagine how we will blossom when this is all over with.
"Well, we've got eight hours until you leave, what should we do?" He asks me.
"All I want is to sit in front of the fire with you and eat pancakes." I say, mixing our two favorite things.
The rain outside only makes it even comfier as he builds the fire in the fireplace. Tracy is in the kitchen making us a gorgeous spread of pancakes and I set up blankets and pillows.
The rain pours harder, pounding on the glass of our big living room windows. I love this kind of weather when I can get cozied up, especially with my boyfriend.
The fire is burning beautifully, and Haz sits up against the couch with me, blankets and pillows surrounding us. He pulls me in under his arm, resting his chin on my head.
"I've never loved anyone the way I love you." He mumbles, playing with my fingers.
"Really?" I smile.
"Yeah." He nods.
Tracy walks in with a tray of pancakes and toppings, we thank her and she excuses herself. We make our pancakes, pouring far too much syrup on top and stuffing our faces.
"Aurie?" He says.
"Hmm?"
"We can have kids." He says.
I drop my fork onto the plate, looking over to him.
"What?" I ask.
"I've always been scared of being a father, but I want that. With you.." he says. "In the later future obviously-"
I cut him off my squeezing him into a tight hug. I knew how opposed he was of having kids. This is such a huge thing for him.
"You really do mean the world to me, Haz."