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i sniffled as i pressed the lock button on my phone, wiping the tears that slipped from my eyes, i've never cried over a girl before.
but i hurt her. i really hurt her. and i couldn't take it back.
god i'm so fucking stupid.
i don't know what to do. what do i do? i want her back, she was the nicest person to me. my life was lonely and boring and there was nothing for me here.
but she...she changed all of that. she changed my whole outlook on life. she was my best friend. my love.
i knew i shouldn't have let my heart get in the way, but it did and now, i'm nothing without her. she doesn't realize how sorry i am, and how bad i want to tell her that i want her.
and only her.
i've never been in a situation like this before. i didn't know who to go to. brie? no, she probably hates me too.
i rubbed my forehead with the palms of my hands, as i realized who i had to go to. and i really didn't want to go to that person.
but i know there's no one else who would help me and comfort me in this situation right now.
i picked up my keys, ready to drive for about an hour. i would go out for a drive anytime, no matter how late or early.
i tried listening to music in the car, it helped a little bit but it still couldn't conceal my thoughts.
i've never been drunk or high in front of her before. the way she looked at me broke me inside, but i was too fucked up to even notice.
my fingers curled around the leather of the steering wheel, i was angry at myself. and she told me i hurt her like austin...
which tore me apart even more. even she knows that i am nothing compared to him, but she still said it anyways. i deserved it.
everything she said to me i deserved it.
fuck you min yoongi! fuck you!
her words were on a loop in my head. i've never seen her yell, or cry like that. and it was all because of me. no one else, just me.
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i took a deep breath as i got out my car, preparing myself for the conversation i'm about to have.
i walked up to the door, hesitating to raise my hand from my side. my hands were sweaty as i knocked on the door three times.
the door opened within seconds, she looked at me with wide eyes, her mouth gaped open as she struggled to find words to say.
"hi mom."
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i should be paying attention to class rn lmaooo
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. . .
mama said, burn your biographies, rewrite your history, light up your wildest dreams 「 high hopes - panic! at the disco 」
