Odd Deceits ( Ongoing Story )

chapter 10

" what the hell has happened to 'you, Eliana?! "

The doctor waved his hand goodbye to us before he head out of the door. And that is when Mom started to give me another shout though there are people here. Luke, Zein and Auntie is close to me but that doesn't mean she can do that in front of everyone, right?

Or it's just because she care to much to me to the fact that she can get hysterical in front of them. My thought lingers to the word I said earlier that makes it hard for me to understand what my mom said. It is also the reason why Zein ask some certain question about achilles.

" I think we better go out now. "

Zein said, being followed by Luke and auntie. What is more to hide anyway. She makes me felt embarrassed before they can even leave!

Mom holds her forehead dramatically and swayed it down her hair. Her fuming face makes her gorgeous and soft face turns into a boiling hot fire of a dragon. I felt bad for her. And it's my fault too. But it's not my fault to wear that 'long gown.

It's his minds fault. If only that old man didn't fantasize me while I'm wearing it then no one will be in fault right now. Gosh.

The image of what happened earlier flash to me and I was scared again. It made me feel weak, destroyed and bad. I'm not sure if I can trust anyone anymore. It will be a pain to risk, and I don't like risking. I always want my life to be easy. Without risk and damage, I thought I'll be fine.

But life isn't something to play with. Yes, you can enjoy it but we cannot hide the truth. Which is going for what you want. And taking its risk. Even though we don't know what will happen later, or the consequences after it.

Just take risk, and take another one, until it satisfy you.

But I can't take that now. Maybe a few months or so, I will get used to strangers again. However, it's been only an hour and it will be really bad for me to please my self it's alright for that right now.

" It's the man's fault, Mom. "

I said without hesitant, looking straight to her eyes. Because I know I'm right. And she should be at my side because not only did that man almost ruined me, but it's because I'm her daughter. And ofcourse she'll trust me.

She roll her eyes at me, and at that moment I choose to look down. Losing the confidence I make up earlier. The hole in my heart that's been damaged earlier became even evident to saw the whole thing. But I can do this. I can suffer this 'myself. because I am Eliana. And I've been trough that pain since.

" So what exactly are you saying, dear? "

I'm in the verge of breaking out and screaming at her. But I can't. She's still my mother, after everything. I even feel such guilt after saying no to their offer about the marriage thing because it's the only thing they ask for, but I'm stubborn and selfish.

Selfish? Is choosing, when I'll get married is selfish? Is choosing not to get married is selfish?

" Mom.. "

Now the tears find their way out of my eyes again. And you know what can hurt me more? Is that I pity myself. I'm pitying my own and..

" He harassed me mother, what more do you want me to say? Even Luke knows. "

I said that like a feather in the atmosphere. And being like a feather, she doesn't picked that up seriously. She only think it's a light weight solid without some purpose. Without worth.

" He's one of the highest investor in our company, Eliana! We can't lose him, you know that! "

" And it's alright for you if you lose me? "