Odd Deceits ( Ongoing Story )

chapter 26

" I insist. " i glare at him so it will be obvious I'm really taking this seriously and that he should take that and won't bother to thank me, it should be the other way around.

" okay geez, you're gonna kill me with those stares!" he laugh and before I can cover my mouth laugh comes off so giddily not caring if its modest or not. okay I never consider him as one of the enemy after the irrational verbal with his group. it was awkward for me ofcourse like what happen with achilles, those are his friends and i keep thinking that im ruining their friendship.

after we choose and settle in a seat we're both comfortable with i shifted my fallen hair to my side not that I'm  doing it the bad way but because the interviewers are coming inside again.  This place must be their haven how bad for me. 

" so you already talk with Achilles?  " he started out the conversation after a while of silence as we saw the flock of interviewers and journalist passing by. 

" yeah " i simply said,  its really a mad idea that I'm not completely trusting him but thats what I choose I dont need to trust everyone although I  always do against my will. 

" so I  wanted to apologize  for them about what they do.  " now we're  being serious.  I don't have the best idea why he need to bring up that topic right now.

" oh thats not your fault, at all.  " i even emphasize the word all so that he will notice I'm not up for this right now.

I wanted to talk about other things but he keeps asking about that thing or if not it was connected to it.

" ace, sorry but can we talk about other things I just need time to think trough that.  " he was shocked at first and nervous even as I saw how his brown eyes dilated to horror. 

" sorry I'm just being insane right now. I'm  thinking of something and I  also wanted to talk to you.  "

" oh.  " is it because you're nosy and I'm loving it except that you're  talking of things i dont have the audacity to talk of right now?  I would love it if you're  engaging about other things.  I wanted to add but oh is the only thing I came up. 

Finally our order is deliver in our table and its fine because  we don't  need to take it back if what they give us is wrong,  I'm too lazy for that now. 

I sipped on my coffee and simmer how I'm  loving this coffee today its not my favorite one but oh wow i would like to order a gallon of this please! 

" what do you think about the future?  " the future that makes me overthink about it what is it Really?

Is it something we all should worry about,  should we trust our own fate?  Will waiting for it worthwhile. We don't know infact no one do.

" I don't know maybe flying cars or trucks?  " he laughed and I gladly joined him. 

" for you what's it like?  "

" i dont like to think what's it like more on if there will be a 'future "

He ended things like that after we're done sipping our coffee. I bid my goodbye to him and he did that too.  Those words were mesmerizing. Is there a future, and if there won't  be will the time repeat itself?  Or it'll sadly end like that?

I open my car and swiftly drive my way back home. I suspected my parents are here as the guards are more active today its as if any moment someone will kill us all here. 

" darling!  " my mom cooped me in a hug and somehow I was fascinated . But I  fake my smile. i dont want to have any more arguments for this day,  just today. 

" what is it?  " she ended our hug and look at me and to dad.  I look at daddy too. 

" your birthday is soon,  and that will be your 19th birthday we need to celebrate that.  " daddy said and roll his eyes on mom.  I completely forgot they're divorcing and that everything  is for a sullen publicity. 

Even though I wish for so long to give me their time and join me on my birthday,  i don't  want to anymore.  I no longer care for that after they said they're  gonna break up soon. 

" eh, just invite small circles of people.  "
My mind is too clouded that i didn't  bother to think we're  already in the dining room.  Maids are preparing for the food we will eat and that somehow feels like this is too much.

The fork I'm holding almost fell after another thought strucks me,  if it really did mom will screwed me for weeks that's harsh.  I finish eating so I  can rejoice my remaining time alone. 

" hey, you'll attend to my birthday right?  " i badly wanted to send that message to Achilles but I'm too shy to do so.  I don't  want him to felt obliged to come. Maybe the news will be all over the school that I  don't need to tell him personally.  But that's just so bad!  I mean he's  my friend i atleast need to invite him.

The night ended after i send it to him.  I wanted to scream and throw my phone at full force.  I waited for ten minutes and ten minutes  again after that and minutes after that too. 

I'm so lost to him that a day without him feel so empty and vague as if my lifeline is in him and he won't need to turn it back, I  somehow wish its the same for him. Imagine him saying that to himself that I'm too precious to get my heart?  Aww. I pity myself for thinking that. 

It's too impossible.  I don't even know why I think i committed to him for some reason. Like the first day i met him in my dreams I feel im too obliged to talk to him and I should act nicely. Why?

He's my sun right?  I will always be his star. the one who will orbit near him. Even though I'm not his priority because there are the planet lining up for him.  I'm just a simple star not worth it. 

I'm worthless when it comes to him.