Odd Deceits ( Ongoing Story )

chapter 19

I started walking away from them. I pretend to use my phone like I'm making a message from it just so they'll avoid bothering me. I'm quite disappoint by myself. I don't want people to lie to me but here I am doing the same.

Guilty invade me. I consider them as friends though we only see each other for once, i do. And I can't believe I'm lying for good. Is lying good? If ever i will tell them they won't believe me. The only one who understands me is achilles.

And I would like to discuss this topic in private with him. I go to our first class and I spot them looking at me like there's something else wrong i didn't mind that at all. The first class went by and I prepare to run to the second class since I'm running out of time after organizing the things I bring today. I shouldn't have dine that how stupid of me.

I don't talk to anyone in all the class. Zein is busy talking to her friends that I also consider as mine but she's closer to them so I don't bother her that time.

The third class went on swiftly and it is time for our break. I tried to find achilles but he's nowhere to be found really? When I'm not expecting him to come he goes and when I do he's gone!

" I bet you're looking for Zein? " Mhidia who rarely speak to me do it now. But the thing I'm not sure is if she's okay with me now or she don't have any problem at all and the reason is just that she don't like me.

" Not exactly, I'm actually looking for Achilles. " Wrong move Eliana she likes achilles its obvious I should not tell her that.

" Oh achilles, he's in there. " And points the part in campus where the tress are free to go with the grass.

" Thank you Mhidia. " And I give of her my genuine smile but she looks back like she's disgusted or something.

" You always act nice, you know you're not. " She half smiles at me and turns her back before she get away. I shrugged it off before I continue to walk to the part she points at earlier.

My mind is off and weary, its filled by the words Mhidia said before she go. Am I really bad? I always want not to complicate things and do my best but I know I'm not bad it should be the other way around, the whole world is bad and against me.

Finally i saw achilles and in my mind I secretly thank Mhidia again that she didn't take my question as a joke. He's here doing nothing but seizing the wild breeze that flew through us. I sighed before having the courage to stay quiet before I sit next to him And not having his consent if i should do it.

" Hey, " he started negotiating the conversation.

" Hi. "

" So you're looking for me? "

" Obviously. " I scoffed and not having the urge to look back at him even though he's looking at me more intently than he should.

" What do you want to talk about? " When he look away I now have the fight to look.

" About my dream " now he looks at me that makes me look away.

" What about it? "

" I don't know if I should called that as my dreams. Its like a memory fighting to make my brain remember. "

" And you can tell your friends that I'm lying, and if you're not doing it yet, do it. " I added just so i can try to simply explain to them what happened to me.

" I didn't tell them and i won't. " My brows furrowed in confusion and I look at him.

" They won't believe you. " Now that hits me. I smiled and remembered zein is one of them now so she won't believe me either? Okay.

" Do you experience that too, you know the dreams that didn't felt like a dream but a memory. " I slide the current topic so that I wont get hurt by it more. So many things affected me and I hate myself for that.

" No, it's always a dream. "

" A dream of you. " He caught me off guard before i tried to talk more. I never dream of him again after i meet him in the waking life but he still did.

" What can he the reason though? " I soften my voice to avoid him concluding I'm getting excited for something, the hurt i feel earlier us now replaced by the raging fire of stupidity. Am I falling again?

" I know, and I won't tell you. " He's teasing my hatred is back to him again and i just want to punch him for it. Just effing tell me!

" Why won't you tell me, we're the only ones who know what's happening to us. " I persuade him just so he'll tell me. Please tell me achilles. Gosh.

" So what, I'll keep it to myself. " Then go i won't tell you what happened to my dream like memory. "

" Hm, that's new, you did not fight back. "

" Well I'm tired of fighting. " Thousands of memory floods back to me. I'm always fighting. But there are times i wanted to give up and set myself free.

" So tell me about it. " He ordered like a merciless king once again. Argh

" Wow, i cannot believe it, you don't want to tell me about the reason why you dream of me and I should tell you, what are you like a - "

" Shh. " And put his index finger near my lips not getting it nearer.

" Its because I'm still missing you. " The crickets are everywhere. I'm at the verge of laughing and he's here looking at me with his serious facade.

" What? " He ask annoyed. That makes him cuter too.

" What 'what are you talking about you missed me? Do you loved me that you'll missed you that much?! " And hysterically laugh at him again

" Tss. " And he's about to stand up.

" Hey where are you going? "

" Away? "

" Why are you mad, i only laugh though, you shouldn't be offended if it isn't true unless.. you really mean it. "

" Yes I do, so ? " He half shouted at me and I don't know if I'll be happy to hear him or not.

" Well I sleep for a week straight and you don't know that I missed you? " I smiled at him. Seriously were doing this right now. I want to hug him just so he'll know that i mean it and i will always do. The first thing I felt when he's near me is home. He's my home bit I think I'm losing my home without further reason.

Before i start to joked that i miss him more he hugged me tight I'm unable to have the Access to breath. I smiled and almost laugh at him for doing that.

I'm also asking myself why I am happy.
Am I happy because he's here? Or I'm happy because he's my happiness?

I'll take the second one. He's my happiness my endless one.