Odd Deceits ( Ongoing Story )

chapter 28

'  I think we could do it if we tried
If only to say, you're mine
Sofia, know that you and I
Shouldn't feel like a crime… '

I repeated the lines from the song I'm currently obsessed with. Sophia by Clairo. It was a song I'm so hyping right now that the wireless headphone I use is in its low battery that I almost felt bad because I use it the whole day.  Sorry honey I ensure myself It was my fave one but I have tons I can even bought another.

Why should I care if the song that is playing in my ears is 'Sophia? I hummed the tone and stop the music in playing

I lay down in my bed almost awkwardly yet I didn't care because I'm alone here in my room.  I sighed as the song comes up in my head again that I don't have any choice to let it fills my drums again. 

It makes me feel so unreal and happy by listening to it. Maybe the somg have different meaning but that phase is the one I kept playing all day that it really makes me think its about me and Achilles.

We can tried and we shouldn't feel like its taboo or a crime because there is never a sophia in our story. The fiction girl I'm always imagining him better with starts to ignite and cloud my mind again. 

I played with my hair and imagine myself wearing a blue contact lens and dying my hair to a pale blonde. Am I better pf with him like that i ask myself repeatedly and no matter hpw many times I ask my unconcious always ended like you're gonna remove that igniting feelings because it isn't worth it.

I can't believe myself that the powerful Eliana is finally settlong into someone who's thinking to herself a worthless person. 

You're the only heir of the biggest fashion company in the whole world eli,  you're not worthless except when it comes to him.

I shrugged thinking another reason if he looks at me like that. A little ouch maybe?

I was acting up like this.  There is a heavy storm so the days he's not here is the days I spend my remaining time with my boring parents.  I consider them boring now haven't I. Their publicity is so boring and scripted I can almost feel like the phrase ' it's a prank!  Will comes by after it

But no. they already prepared the files  for their divorced after my birthday.  My seventeenth birthday is a mess.  How I wish that they wont give a damn about it and let it go.

I look at the art materials who by now is bored and organized in my own drafting table. The last time I make art is Achilles birthday.  The special day of the masterpiece.

The art himself.

Now I'm starting to think if I'm really bored or I really am losing my passion to it.  I wanted them to go because I wont need them for the path my parents make for me. Not the path I really wanted and long for.

I decided to let them all go and donate to the place they needs to be.

Seriously, I don't have any ideas at all where but i know its wise to give them to the artist in need. I will certainly find a way as soon as possible. 

The works i maded in my motivated past life is hanging perfectly in a drawer with the specialized archive in stored. 

I will keep them yes. My old self will be really mad at me if I'll choose to let it go too like how my precious materials will go. Atleast when I became a professional in the field i will take, it will serve as a little fragments of a memory.

My hands is getting colder even though I'm inside my room wrapped up in a blanket and Hoodie the snow storm must be really bad. I never check my massive window because it somehow sends me shiver that I almost felt naked and outside.

I turn on the heater and the thermostat to the highest it can go that I feel warm. My head is throbbing.  And throbbing. Im definitely in pain I cant breath again. 

I was helding on to my nape. But my vision got blurry it was almost feel like tears swelling up my eyes. I didn't realize I'm calling for everyone my mom,  dad and auntie or who the hell is there.

I'm scrunching my head pulling the hair and screaming to get it out that I wanted to laugh at what I said.

I don't have any baby to get 'out but the thing in my head.  A painful thing I won't consder keeping my company. 

" auntie! "

One maid enter and I forgot my door is lock and I need to save time to open it.  To let them in to help me.  It was physical pain I can't help it

" fuck. " i muttered in my breath and walk towards the door like I'm not sober at all.  A zombie.  My knee almost give up because it was excruciating it ended downwards my throat my limbs to its vein. I need air I gasped but I can't talk!

I panic but luckily I managed to unlock the door. It is no maid.  No it was my achilles being here again. 

Am I dying? I ask myself..

No words escape my mouth as his face clouded the entirety of my mind. His blue eyes the little crease on his forehead making his pink lips twinge.  How I love the little things of him.

The way he crossed his arm when I did it first. Copying me. When he scratch his ears until it turned red when he's annoyed at me obviously.

His thick brows who nods with his head when he's talking to someone.  Its not just him who makes me fall.  It was all of him.  The entirety of achilles. 

Even though I only cherish a little time with him. I already pick the things I already notice. Things I can keep to avoid sleeping at night. Being a little creep at simply simping over him.

My vision comes blurry black and turns to the waking life again.  Many people sorrounded me with their white coats and mask.  With my achilles running with them.

Crying. Achilles Moore is crying over the worthless Eliana?  It makes me think he loves me and I'm not alone in this. That he's with me.

I smiled but I'm not sure if he sees it as my vision faded away again.  Competely gone.  And him with it away from me.

The town I always see. The mansion, the two child who almost looks like a bestfriend couple is here again.  But it was gone too and back again like I'm watching the entirety of their whole life

Still I didn't complain it was irrational to be so. Their time together is entertaining.  I loved it.

The season changed. They grew up together.  And me on a mirror. 

"it was a glitch. " achilles explained and now I'm in the waking life completely dress like the usual. No pain no hospital like how I remember it to be.  I thought I was sick?

" i saw it in my dream its a glitch " he repeated.