𝐁𝐑𝐎𝐊𝐄𝐍 𝐆𝐋𝐀𝐒𝐒

CH8- IF YOU DON'T LET IT OUT YOU'RE GONNA LET IT EAT YOU AWAY

⚠warning⚠: describes blood, anorexia

There she stood, contemplating whether she should listen to the voice or her stomach. The pasta looked appetizing she was almost convinced to eat. Almost. Her mind slowly filled with thoughts. You're hungry (Y/N). Just eat. It won't hurt.
You've gone days without a single meal, why not do it again?

Finally giving in to the voice, she walked out of the house, her hands on her head as thoughts and worries overwhelmed her. She needed a release. She needed her blade against her skin. She needed to see the scarlet red liquid seep out slowly in tiny droplets out of her wrist.
No. You promised Ryan. You never break promises.
What he doesn't know can't hurt him.
But he will. He always knows.

How does he always know? Why does he care so much? Why? How? Why? Why? Why? Why? Once again she had been led by her mind without noticing. Looking around she noticed green. Just green. And a bit of brown. She was back at the park. The park she let her mind wander and clear. Clear. Clear. Release. Release. Blood. Blood.
DO IT.
No. I promised.

Brown. Green. Looking up, she saw a tree. Her tree. Giving a weak smile, she sat down. Letting her mind clear and wander in hopes of not giving the voices the release they wanted. Not feeding them like she didn't feed herself.

She leaned her head onto the bark, feeling the rough, bumpy texture of it. She was back to that question. Why does he care so much?
This had already been answered by (F/N) but it wasn't enough.

"(Y/N)!"

She blinked back into reality, hearing her name called. Looking around, she saw him. He was running towards her, slowing down once he reached proximity. He lowered himself, bending his knees to face her. Deciding against that, and sitting down crossed-legged.

"Hey. What are you doing here?" He asked, obviously trying to start a conversation but that being oblivious to (Y/N).
What? Do I have to have a signed agreement from the mayor to be here?

She smiled, "Just clearing my mind. I was about to go actually." Abruptly standing up, (Y/N) took a step.

Huh, that feels weird.
Looking down to make sure her legs were fine, she collapsed. Before hitting the ground painfully, someone caught her between her own arms. (Ha, three guesses who)

"Woah, you okay?" Ryan gently placed her on the tree, looking into her eyes, checking to see if they were blood shot. Instead, seeing her pale face, "Oh, well that's not good. Um, okay."

Panic evident in his eyes, he took out his phone and pressed in three numbers. Oh no, last thing I need is to be taken to the hospital for not eating. Hell no, that's an expensive bill.

She leaned forward, tugging at his pant leg before he could press another button. He looked down, worry stretched across his face.

"Don't call for an ambulance." She spoke with a fragile voice.

"Why not?" It was clear he was trying not to stutter.

"I just haven't eaten, that's all."

"Oh ok, how long have you not eaten?" Ah shit.

(Y/N) pursed her lips, not wanting to tell him but doing so anyway, "Like, two days?" Though it came out more like a question than an answer, Ryan's eyes widened.

"Two days?! Why don't you eat? That's not good for you." He wasn't yelling, his voice was a bit higher pitched as he spoke, concern lacing his words.

Suddenly, he creased his eyebrows, "I-is there something going on at home..?" It was as though he was afraid to ask, afraid of the answer that night come out.

Once again, (Y/N) pursed her lips. Bad habit of hers when she wanted to tell the truth but, knowing her mother wouldn't be pleased, "No. Of course not." Unfortunately, Ryan saw her lips- though he was almost always looking at them, detecting any lies or just fueling his fantasties about kissing them- and knew she was lying but, decided not to pry.

"Okay." He made sure to drag out the, 'O' a bit to let her know he wasn't convinced. He bent down and secured an arm underneath her shoulders, lifting her. "Just know, I'm not convinced. It's okay to tell me, you can tell me anything."
Well who does he think he is? My life long best friend? Someone I've talked to my whole life? A friend?

"I'm taking you to my house. No, I'm not kidnapping you, if you don't want to come, I'll just take you to your house. Do you want to come?" Oh decisions, always so hard to make.

Saying yes won't kill anyone, "Yeah, that's fine. But, why are we going there?"

"I'm going to have you eat something since, you need to. It's not healthy for you to be like this. You're skinny, you don't have to be a skeleton. If you had to be, you'd've been born that way."

He's right, you know?
No, he's not. Don't tell me you're actually giving into him?
I don't know, maybe I am.
━━

Well hello there. I actually updated this. Surprise. Don't you just love writer's block?
Please correct any mistakes if you see any, that would be greatly appreciated since I am writing this at 5 am.
No, I did not wake up this early, I pulled an all-nighter.

As always, stay safe!
-Dana ❤