ALPHA GREY (Re-written)

Chapter 17

Two weeks have come and gone.

Each day would take the same form. I'd wake up to realize that amid my night terrors I had managed to worm my way into his arms, for his touch seemed the only thing that could pull me out of the darkness. As the haze of sleep wore off, I would be reminded of how much I have failed myself, how weak he makes me feel. Soon after, would follow my tenacious desire to distance myself from him.

Though I wanted to loathe him with every fibre of my being, I could feel my resolve weakening with each fall of night. The sickening truth was that I had no control over what I felt, it was all the effect of a mystic compulsion thrust upon me by a goddess I wasn't even devout to. The mate-pull made me long for his presence, and drew me near him in my vulnerable state. Each time he left; I would feel an overwhelming emptiness at the depths of my soul.

Today was no different.

As the sun rises at the first break of dawn, I find myself entangled in the warmth of his arms. My head rests on his forearm, his hand gently nestling on my abdomen. I wonder as I shift to ease the tension in my neck, how his arm is able to hold my weight throughout the night. It must get uncomfortable for him, retaining this position.

I wiggle, finally managing to set myself free of his touch before stealing a glance at his sleeping form. He looks so peaceful in his sleep, nothing like the monster I have heard him to be and certainly nothing like the selfish cruel man he has shown me that he is. I linger longer than I should on his perfectly sculpted face and toned muscular biceps. Guilt washes over me, snapping me out of whatever spell he has me under.

All his physical glory will never compensate for his crooked interior. I think to myself.

I ease my way out of bed and venture towards the bathroom, locking myself inside. My reflection stares back at me across the big mirror in front of me. For a moment, I don't recognise the girl before me. She is a shadow of my former self. In that place of what is usually a smile, is now a frown. The fire within her eyes has extinguished and sorrow hangs over her shadow.

Turning on the shower, I turn the knob to maximum heat. It burns my flesh but I welcome the pain. It distracts me from an internal torment I can't seem to escape. I attempt to scrub away any trace of him from my body, failing dismally. His intoxicating scent clings to me, a fusion of the woodsy smell of the forest, dark chocolate and a hint of vanilla, all my favourite notes in one.

Upon my return to our chambers, I find him patiently waiting for me.

"Come." He says, patting the spot beside him at the edge of the bed.

Though my brain tells me to stay put, my legs rebel.

I walk cautiously towards him, his eyes trained on me. I decided it's best settle a safe distance from where he seats, not wanting to further strengthen the mate pull. He effortlessly pulls me towards him, closing the distance between us.

"Are you seeing Julian today?" He inquires.

"Do I have a choice?" I remark bitterly.

Greyson had taken it upon himself to assign me therapy sessions with his brother, seeing the aftermath of my night terrors.

"I know I sprung this on you. I had hoped it would ease your anxiety and help you adjust to your new environment."

More like forced me. I don't say.

"I'm actually warming up to it. Julian is really good at what he does, just don't tell him I said that."

"I would never hear the end of it if I did." His face contorts.