ALPHA GREY (Re-written)

Chapter 23

"Better by far you should forget and regret than remember and be sad."

GREY'S POV

"For all your transgressions against my people, I will take from you what you hold dear. You will once again come to know the pain of losing a love you barely got to fully embrace.

Your sins will not go unpunished. How long did you think I would watch over you as you mercilessly murdered your own kind? You have turned into what you loathe most. With a heart as hard as stone, you take from others without mercy, you kill without cause and torture those who dare defy you.

You think being feared is a show of respect?"

I watch on as the moon goddess reprimands the scared little ten-year-old version of me.

I am dreaming.

I want nothing more than to wake up from the lucid dream yet I am forced to look on as my younger self cowers in one of the caves he had discovered when he had gone to play in the forest despite his mother's warnings.

The dewy-eyed boy grips on to the pendant his mother had given him just before she'd instructed him to take his brothers into hiding. He is terrified, yet he doesn't let it show for he must be the strong – strong for his pack who are faced with a formidable enemy but mostly strong for his confused little brothers who are oblivious of the chaos that has engulfed their homeland.

I know very well how he is feeling for this isn't a fragment of my imagination but a flashback from that horrid day. I want so badly to comfort him and tell him not to worry because he will survive and become one of the greatest Alphas to have ever lived yet my words fall to deaf ears for, he cannot see nor hear me.

He just sat there, his arms curled around the shoulders of his younger brothers, fearing that he would never get to see his parents again. In the distance heart wrenching howls could be heard. Although still to phase, his hearing was sharper than even that of the most respected wolves. He wanted to go out and help but he had made a promise to his mother to run and not turn back. His silent cries break my heart.

The last thing I see before I wake is my mother's face as she said;

"Son. Love is the greatest healing. Allow yourself to love and be loved before it is too late. Don't let your past taint your future. Let her in."

I wake with a deep yearning to be in her presence. Her scent clings to every end of our room. I still cannot trust myself to be around her, not only that I may lose control allowing Mason reign but that I am not quite certain I can face her as yet. No amount of tactical training could prepare one to withstand such torment or even begin to conceal it. It lingers, silently spreading its venom to the depths of my damned soul.

In time I would learn to forgive her for the pain she has caused yet I fear the pack may not be quick to forgive her transgressions if word ever got out. A Luna, forsaking her destiny, too stubborn to even consider the possibility of a life different from the one she had envisioned for herself, would be seen as unfit to rule. Although it hurt deeply that she wanted nothing to do with me, it hurt even more knowing she'd go to such lengths to distance herself from what she is destined for.

"You should go find her." Mason cuts through my thoughts.

"So that you can try to harm her again?"

"For the millionth time, I only set out to scare her a bit. I would have never taken it that far."

Though Mason was a part of me, I could not trust him to stay at bay. He wanted her. She is as much as his mate as she is my own. Yet, I worry that he cannot contain himself around her, as even I Alpha of Alphas struggle to restrain myself around her. I had heard the stories, even seen it with my own eyes the power of the mate bond. It can bring even the fiercest of men to their feet. Never would I have imagined that I too would fall at the hand of this mystic pull. I had been perfectly content with the no strings attached engagements I had with females.

"I don't think she sees it that way."

"Let me apologize then."

Emotions are still raw, the last thing any of us need is Mason taking the reins again.

"Now is not the best time." I say in finality.

"Fair.

I really must command you for exercising such restraint, were it up to me, she'd have our mark on her neck right this instant."

"She's not ready yet." I explain.

"Will she ever be?"

I too wonder if she will ever be ready to take on her position as Luna of this pack. How much longer will I have to baby her? She may have not been raised on our principles but she sure isn't oblivious to what is demanded of her, not only as my mate but as Luna of one of the biggest packs in the world, a Lycan Luna.

I have lived without fear for so long. Now that I've found her, I have something to lose. The loss of my parents and my pack had almost driven me off the ledge, some would even say it did. Hell will freeze over before I let anyone take her from me, moon goddess or not.

She may not know it yet but she has become the centre of my universe. Everything changed since that fateful night when I first laid eyes on her. Everything seemed to fall away and she became my centre. Suddenly it wasn't gravity holding me down to the earth; it was her majestic pull that kept me centred. I knew then that from that moment forth I would give her the world, and go to any lengths to keep her safe.

Just one look at her and I instantly knew my life would change forever. Every part of me belongs to her now. I have stumbled upon many beautiful women across the globe yet none come close in comparison to her, how she makes me feel. Merely looking at her unleashes a lethargic primal need from deep within that even I, skilled in the art of composure as I am, struggle with restrain. She riles me up, gets under my skin with her defiance and blatant disrespect towards me and the werewolf culture. Yet it draws me to her even much more than I already am, the fire within her enticing. The feeling is so foreign, it makes me feel vulnerable, unarmoured against the powerful force that she is.

My affection for her may not be obvious to her but it's like nothing I have ever felt before. She is easily becoming my weakness. Fear is an overwhelming emotion for humans and supernatural beings alike. It can either weaken or strengthen an individual. I have always fed off the fear of others, instilling fear in the minds of my enemies which in turn established my dominance over them allowing me to bend them at my will. Now it is I who fears. I fear losing her. She threatens my resolve, undermines my authority, rebels against my every word yet I still melt at the sight of her innocent smile.

I should go see her.

And so, I leave our chambers on a mission to find my mate. Though still infuriated by her actions, all I wanted to do was be near her – and feel her warm skin against my own as she finds momentary glimpses of peace in her sleep.

Walking towards were her scent was the strongest, I stop in my tracks when I feel a soft hand wrap around my wrist. I can tell who it is just from the fragrance of her. Though still memorizing, its effect on me seems to have lessened now.

"Camille."

"Hi stranger." She whispers seductively into my ear, a small shiver running down my back as she trails her tongue along my earlobe.

I knew her intension before she could even pronounce them. What she wanted, I desperately needed. Unable to resist her sway as she pulled me into the nearest room and got one her knees, I let her have what she desired. With my mate temporarily at the back of my mind, I lost myself in the warmth of another, releasing all the pent-up tension that had been building to a peak for weeks.

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