Serene Of The Sea

7. Shaken

I opened the library on time as usual. It was a miserable day outside. I shook out my umbrella and stuck it in the umbrella bin by the door. My socks were damp through from the pouring rain. I knew I should have been worrying about my predicament. But I didn't know what else I could do, but carry on as normal. As I took my place behind my desk I found that I was completely unnerved. It upset me that what once would have calmed me, now caused fear.

Dax had taken away my refuge. The emptiness of the library left me feeling vulnerable. The entrance opened and my heart stopped in response. I breathed my relief when Kai entered. He shook the rain from his hair as he paced toward me. He didn't speak as he approached, his features distraught as he leaned in close and touched my face. I winced. I had forgotten about the bruise. I hadn't had the thought to get it healed.
Kai frowned, "That's my fault. I'm so sorry."
I tutted, "It wasn't your fault. Don't be so dramatic." I looked down. Embarrassed that I hadn't hidden it from view.
Kai lifted my chin, "Have you thought about what I said?" His eyes were pleading, cool blue eyes piercing.
I pulled away, feeling more tired than ever, "Not now, please."
Clapping interrupted me. Both Kai and I turned, ice trickling down my spine.
Dax stood in the doorway with his lackeys. How could I have let my guard down?!
They were just as sneaky as Kai, all so tall too.
Dax clapped slowly stepping forward in a relaxed manner, "Well done, Serena. Turn the fool away."
Kai frowned as he protectively stood by me.
Dax didn't move further, he had an air of complete control, "See what he's doing, Serena? Just like your father. He won't let you make your own decisions."
Kai winced at the reference, "I am nothing like your father. Don't listen to him."
Dax seemed unfazed. He didn't even spare Kai a glance, "I'm guessing you are now aware of the situation. Let me offer this. I will be honest with you from the start. I want you on my side. I will never lie to you, and I won't let those human scum ever hurt you again. And Kai? What can he offer you? He lied to you from the start. He was going to leave you. Didn't help you despite the fact you were being harmed. Pretended he didn't know what you were. He let you think you were safe. Pretended to be your friend."
His words frightened me.
Kai was tense, I could practically hear his teeth grinding as he spoke to Dax, "And what about you Dax? How many innocents have you killed?"
Dax frowned slightly, answering coolly, "Collateral damage for the greater good. But I'll admit to it. But you Kai. How many innocents have you left to die? Because of your oath? You won't even admit to yourself that you're just as bad. Which in a way, makes you far more evil."
Kai flinched physically, "It's not the same."
Dax smiled and stared straight into my soul with his dark grey eyes, "Oh, but it is."
I started to get a headache as the voices of the outside world pushed their way in, I groaned in discomfort.
Dax watched it happen, "Oh. You're one of those? I'll bet Kai didn't even tell you what you're capable of. I'll bet he didn't even tell you what the voices are? You must have gone through so much pain to deal with them."
I winced back.
Kai grabbed my arm, setting the voices at bay.
"That's it. Block her gift," Dax jeered, "You Serena, can hear the whole world. Could plant thoughts into the pliable minds of the humans. I can teach you to control it."
I didn't want to hear this right now. I didn't want to be swayed.
Dax watched me carefully, "I'm going to go now. As I can see this is distressing, as it should be. You have every right to be upset. Unlike your friend here. I know when a person needs time. We'll meet again, Serena." He turned, Lackeys in tow and left.
When the door slammed shut. Kai slapped the table in frustration, "He's a manipulative liar! He's trying to control you!"
I pursed my lips, mulling over Dax's words.
Was Kai bad? Had Kai killed people, or Sirens? Were they like me? Kai was watching me carefully.
When I didn't speak he lean't forward, Sadness seeping out of his blue eyes, "I know what you're thinking. Yes, I have killed. It was war, Serena. There's not a moment that goes by when it doesn't haunt me. His reference to me leaving people to die is when I am sent above to help a half blood. If they don't know what they are. I cannot help them. I am forbidden to help them. Because they quite often wont understand and will try to reveal our kind to the humans. Which cannot happen. Because I am not allowed to help them, they die more often than not. You understand why I didn't tell you this? It scares me that I have to bear this weight. Let alone say it out loud."
I felt my eyebrows knitting further down with each word. Kai had killed.
His eyes were pleading, "Please, Serena. Don't think for a second that those situations were ever easy for me."
He moved to reach out, but I instinctively pulled back. He sighed in frustration, giving me some space.
"How many?" It slipped out of my mouth. Did I really want to know?
Kai stilled.
There was no turning back now, "How many deaths Kai?" My voice rose slightly. More with fear than anger.