~ What If We could Rewrite the Stars ✨

Chapter 19

I want to go home..

Her perfume is driving me nuts. I will really puke if I stay here any longer. And which crazy perfume maker came out with such nauseating end result??????

It's all his fault. If he hadn't given me such shitty advice, I wouldn't be facing such an awful situation.

#blameitonArmaan

I doubt if he really is one of the top psychiatrists here.

Thankfully Nate has left car keys behind. He was the one to drive me here. But probably rode a cab back home.

My heart clenched again remembering the loss of glow and hope in Nate's eyes. I probably should have constructed my sentence more carefully back then. What if he thinks I like to sleep around?

Driving back wasn't a huge task considering the lack of traffic at late night, but I couldn't relax. Nate's solemn face kept bothering me. Heck, what if I--

"Uncle Thomas, I am coming home. Keep the door open." I informed in order to not disturb the entire household with my super late night arrival.

The door was expectantly open, but someone was unexpectedly awake. Yep, Uncle Thomas it is.

"You could have gone back to sleep. Securities are on duty. It's not like someone will rob us." I said.

"I was awake for another reason. Did anything happen to your assistant?" Uncle Thomas sounded concerned.

- "Not really. Why?"

- "He refused to have dinner tonight. I went upstairs to call him, I heard faint sobs coming from his room. Perhaps he was crying."

My heart broke at the mere thought of him crying in pain alone. Why? Why was he crying? And why do I feel like this?

I tried thinking back. Today he was with me for the entire day. Where did things go wrong? What made him to avoid food which he loves the most?

This is it. I need to check on him.

I don't remember how I reached his room. I only know how vulnerable he looked when I rushed inside. He was curled up on his bed with slightly reddened nose tip. But his eyes were swollen. Clearly, he did cry a lot. And most probably fell asleep while crying.

My entire being just wanted one thing at that moment- hug him to sleep.

And that was exactly what I did.

Lifting his blanket and covering him up completely, I slid inside it. His back was facing me, so we ended up spooning each other. Nothing mattered to me at that moment, nothing. He helped me to sleep last night, today I wanted to soothe away his pain. I wanted to be the one to provide him warmth.

The bed was meant for single grownup person, but I didn't mind being the bigger spoon. The pillow was wet from his tears.

What caused you to be so heartbroken, Nate?

Nate's POV

I was really worried, worried to the point that I was biting my own nails. I have been waiting for nearly half an hour now. But still no sign of Dylan coming out of the doctor's chamber. What worries me the most is that the doctor was a psychiatrist. Is Dylan suffering from depression or anxiety? I wish I could help him.

Creak..

I heard the long awaited sound of door opening. Dylan was done with the session.

I rushed towards him, "Are you alright? What did the doctor say?" My could hear my heart beating nervously.

"I am alright." The heavy weight of anxiety was suddenly lifted away from me by his words.

"Thank God! I was so worried!" I answered releasing a long sigh of relief.

"Err.. Nate, I have another job for you."

"What is it?" I asked happily. "You can rely on me, I will do everything efficiently. You can't complain. Hehe." Ofcourse if my idol asks me to do something, how can I refuse???

I wish he knew how much I worshipped him. I wish he knew how much he meant to me. I wish he knew how big of an impact he has on my life. I wish he knew that I have entirely dedicated my life for him.

He was my saviour, my crush, my idol.

"Book a hotel room and find a girl to sleep with me."

Find-a-girl-to-sleep-with-me.

A simple sentence turned my Dreamworld upside down. As if everything I was trying to avoid while daydreaming was screaming at my face, "Look Nate look! Look with widely open eyes. Look and remember this moment forever in your life. Look and use your brain! Your fantasy world is so  different from reality. You ain't teenager anymore. Wake up, Nate. Wake up before it's too late."

I could not longer face him. He was the only ray of hope in my darkest days. A faint hope that I have been clinging onto since my teenage days.

***

I don't know how I reached home. I even forgot to drive his car back with me. But my senses weren't working. Those words which he spat out so casually, has devastated my entire world of hope.

Ofcourse, what were you expecting Nate? Were you expecting to win him over? Don't you know that no one likes a fag? Stop dreaming about l-o-v-e.

Yes, I knew why I was feeling so broken. It was because the person I loved was sleeping with someone else in a hotel room right now, and I arranged it. I knew I had fallen for him long ago. I knew being close to him would only deepen my affections for him. I knew my love would never get reciprocated. But since my stupid heart told to take a chance, I wanted to take a chance. What if he starts liking you? - it had argued with my brain back then.

But what was I thinking back then? It was already clear as daylight to me that Dylan was straight. I have always known it. But still I hoped somewhere in the back of my head, what if he was secretly into guys, or all genders?

But today.. all my hopes were crushed, crumbled and abandoned heartlessly.

I was heartbroken, so heartbroken that my appetite disappeared. I declined the dining offer from my Santa. I needed to be alone, I wanted to be alone.

Warm tears escaped my eyes. Soon, I was crying my heart out. No Dylan will love you. No Dylan will ever love you Nate. Wake up.

I was having trouble breathing. Stop crying. You have to stop crying

I wanted to reason with myself. It's good that Dylan is into girls. Atleast he doesn't have to face insults and hatred of his own family.

My head was hurting, eyes puffed up and nose was also discharging water. Cleaning mess from my face, I curled up. This was the only position which could make me feel secured whenever I was in distress. Despite all the emotional chaos, I slowly drifted towards deep sleep.

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