TUA Diary Fanfic

Entry 11

WHATS UP FUCKERS

First off,

Luther, you winy ragged toed bitch.

I know for a FUCKING FACT YOU STOLE MY BLACK POLISH I DON'T KNOW WHY YET BUT ILL FIGURE IT OUT

Read my diary, go ahead. ILL TELL ALLISON ABOUT THE LOVE SHRINE IN YOUR CLOSET

Diego, IF YOU LEAVE YOUR KNIVES LYING ON MY BED AGAIN I WILL FUCKING RIP YOUR THROAT OPEN IF YOU READ THIS I WILL TEAR OUT YOUR FUCKING SCROTUM

Klaus, if you read this shit I WILL SHOVE MY FOOT SO FAR UP YOUR ASS THAT YOU'LL BE THROWING UP RUBBER FOR A YEAR

Five, I WILL STOMP YOUR FUCKING HEAD INTO THE SIDEWALK SO YOU CAN CHOKE ON YOUR BROKEN TEETH AND SCULPTED JAWLINE

The rest of you, all stashes will be completely off limits if you read this.

NOW INTO THE PSYCHOTIC HAPPENINGS

So dumbass self thought it would be a good idea to steal dad's car for the week.

Let me explain.

"Get the fuck out of bed. No napping. No dreams of you and Five screwing eachothers brains out. We have a mission!" Klaus excitedly yells. I roll my eyes and turn over.

"What the fuck does Dad want now?" I whine rubbing my face.

"No, no, no, he is not giving us orders. He's gone, Remember? He left with Pogo. We are good for a week." My eyes immediately pry themselves open.

It's go time.

Me and Klaus run down the hallway knocking on everyone's doors.

"WAKE UP BITCHES!" Klaus yells running back and forth in a circle.

They all come out of their rooms tired as hell and over all of this.

"It's too fucking early for this shit. What the hell are you guys up to?" Diego complains.

"Dad is gonna be gone all week. The only one here is Mom and we can change her programming for the time we are gone." Diego looks at me angry.

"She's not a machine. You know that." He tells me annoyed.

"I know. Five and Ben can help me make it her usual schedule she just does what she does every day and doesn't notice we are gone." We all look at eachother confused.

"She won't notice, cuz she'll think we're here. If you need that simple of an explanation." I explain briefly rolling my eyes.

"Where would we even go?" Vanya asks me rubbing her eyes tiredly.

"Wherever. We hold the power with the keys." Klaus holds up Dad's car keys.

"Luther?" I ask since he's the only one in the family that for some reason has to have the final say.

"Okay, the last time I let you do something stupid, you blew up an entire neighborhood." (Town) Luther says, which was pretty bad, but it won't end like that.

"This time we'll be more careful. We can't really get kidnapped with us as a group. We can literally kill in a millisecond." I say snapping my fingers.

Five and Vanya look at eachother like it seems like a pretty good idea.

"Fuck it. I'm in as long as I get to drive. I don't want you doing dumb shit. I have to make sure everyone stays safe." We all cheer excitedly.

"FUCK YEAH! PACK YOUR BAGS BITCHES!" I screech speeding to my room. Literally.

Everyone runs to their rooms to quickly get our bags packed.