Surviving for each other

Chapter 8: Something There

Holding the small radio you skip around the small puddles left by the day's early rain. "Here's to the Night" by Eve 6 filled the emptiness the world provided. You swayed a bit to the music as Leon gazed in your direction jealous of your relaxation. He inched a bit closer while walking, you just closed your eyes and continued walking. The ambience of crickets and peepers added the perfect background noise for the summer heat. "You know sometimes I don't miss the humm of the cars and the flooding of porch lights. These nights are just so beautiful." You look up at the clear night sky as you continue to walk Leon following your lead. "Ya I guess I never noticed how amazing everything can be." He said looking over to you. You make your way to the driveway opening the large gate to let yourselves in. Finally walking up the driveway you started to head toward the house, but didn't enter. You walked over to the porch swing and lit the gas lantern close to the base. The wood creaked and the rope tightened as your weight was added to the old bench. You lay on the old wood swing attached to the porch's weathered roof. Slowly swinging back and forth letting the darkness and the glow of the low lantern embrace you in its warmth. Leon heads in your direction and sits down leaning against the wall near your swing. "You can go relax, you don't have to stick with me if you don't want to." He gave you a look of confusion. "What makes you think I don't find this relaxing." You roll on your stomach and look down at him. His legs extended and his arms crossed he relaxed into the house's outer wall. You couldn't help but take notice of how the dim light from the lantern exaggerated his looks. It looked like he hasn't relaxed in years, you could tell by the way he sat he was mentally exhausted. His strong but soft features glowed in the light. He was rough like you from the events thrown at you both yet you could tell he has a fun bubbly attitude to him still. Hopefully the longer he stayed the more he could let go of the shield; you hoped that would reciprocate for yourself as well. You stared at the roof of your porch before turning over staring out into the front yard lit by the soft moon. The music and the breath easy atmosphere made you slowly start to drift off from your eventful day. With the feeling of safety with Leon so close you allowed yourself to actually fall asleep outside.

Leon's P.O.V.
God this is so weird It feels so weird to finally not worry about where I am going to lay my head. It's been so long since I have even spent time with a real person. It feels good. I can feel her sweet eyes on me, she's really cute. I don't think she gives herself enough credit. Damn I guess I didn't realize how tired I am, Jesus. Maybe since (Y/N) is around she can stand watch. That girl isn't like any I have met, man do I fall too quick? I guess I am not too experienced in the love category. I'll just close my eyes for a minute (Y/N) is watching hopefully not just me.
End P.O.V.

You both fell asleep, comforted by each other's presence and the soft hum of the crickets. It was reaching midnight when a thump was heard through the porch. Leon quickly jumps up realizing he had fallen asleep. The cause of the thump slowly woke up in a mild pain. Falling 2 feet wasn't bad but you managed to slam your head on the cement porch. "I Go Blind" by Hootie and the Blowfish hung in the air around the both of you. Leon quickly lunged toward you, him not being far in the first place. He looked at you with a completely worried expression directed at the blood forming from a scrape on your forehead. You just looked at him in disbelief and just started to laugh. "We both fell asleep outside!" You spit out while laughing. Leon looked at you with the largest stupidest grin starting to laugh himself. Your laugh was intoxicating, it was silly and contagious. He found it so cute. And you found his so charming. You felt this was the real Leon; happy, fun, loving. He looked at you realizing you were still bleeding. "Jesus (Y/N) that fall really did some damage." You touch your forehead wincining a bit at the contact to the open cut. You just looked at him and laughed "I've dealt with worse." you said smiling. He stood and offered you his hand which you gladly took. You stumbled a bit on your way up from the rush to your head. He caught you holding you close your arms tucked against his broad chest. "Hey Hey you ok (Y/N) that was close just now." You look up at him not realizing the close contact situation he put you in. You slowly pull out of his warm embrace as he looks at you with a worried expression. "I am fine." you said in a sadined tone. "What just happened." Leon thought to himself as he followed you through the front door to the bathroom in your room. Looking in the mirror you pulled a few butterfly bandages from one of your first aid kits. Pulling the skin together with one side you applied the adhesive side to the opposite side of the cut. Slowly forming the stitches you saw Leon behind you in the mirror. He looked down a bit and you knew why. "Hey are you ok?" He looked at you with an almost innocent manner. "Ya why." You answer quickly hoping he won't bring up why you were so quick to leave his grasp. He looked at you a bit and he could tell something was up but maybe he should give you some space. He was not willing to let it rest that easy though. "Can I help you with that it's the least I can do." She just continued "Thank you but I can handle it." She looked down a little as he finally decided to leave the bathroom and you took a seat on the toilet. You started to cry. You slammed your hand on the play button of the player angrily. "Seven Shades of Blue" by Beth Neilsen Chapman started making you feel worse. You angrily started crying "Why was I made like this" you cough through tears. You really like Leon a lot. It was almost like being on an awkward first date all the time. You have never been on a date in your 21 years but this is what you thought it would be like. You really like spending time with him and he was so handsome. These thoughts flew through your mind as you started to cry. You knew even if you were the only girl for miles he was too good for someone like you. You were pudgy even though you have rationed your food and did everything you could for your weight. That was why you had never been on a date, guys just don't like girls like you, from your experience at least. You hunched over with your hands over your eyes trying to quit your crying so Leon wouldn't be bothered. You decided to take a shower to get your mind off the worries. Starting the shower you tried to whip your red puffy eyes but all was in vain when you started to undress. You stared at yourself in the mirror unable to get over the fact you weren't the thin type. It ate you up inside to know that the way you look was going to dictate your entire life. That is if you had a life anymore in this fucked world. Leon was so cute and handsome, fun and caring. You just couldn't see a universe where you and him had a real future together. If this was different you could see him not giving you a second glance but the situation was different. You never really let yourself into any relationship or tried at that because you felt you were under everyone. The thought of being in a relationship scared you. What if they wanted to hold you but you wouldn't let them touch you for fear of what they would say. Or if the relationship went as far as sex you couldn't see yourself naked infront of anyone let alone someone you really love. You felt like there was no way anyone could find you sexy or even just pretty anymore. You didn't find yourself either of those how would someone else. You finished taking a shower and drying yourself off. Changing into a large striped T-shirt and a pair of black exercise shorts you made your way into your room. You opened the window letting in the smells of a summer night. The thin curtains swayed in the cold night breeze as you took a seat at your desk. You let your arms go limp on your desk hitting your radio and knocking off some cassettes. "How's it Going to Be'' by Third Eye Blind played muffled by the small blanket newly thrown over it. You were digging in your bed making almost a nest of blankets. Pulling the comforter off the bed you rolled yourself in it and layed on the bed in a mess of blankets. A different scent radiated from one of the pillows. It was the one you laid Leon's head when you were taking care of him. You shed a few more tears staining his pillow. You rolled over onto the other side of the bed trying to clear your mind.

Leon's P.O.V. (after he left you)
"What happened? What did I do wrong? I thought we were really hitting it off." I thought to myself confused a bit by the situation. I made my way to the room she set for me but I couldn't leave her like that. I think I know what the issue is. But how should I prove to her that I think she is beautiful no matter what. It seems like she really doubts that I actually like her. I think I got an idea. I decided to leave the house to look for the key component to my master plan. I walked to the end of the block and it was getting close to 2am. Then I spotted it. A small, old, one door red pickup truck parked at the end of a neighbor's driveway. Walking up I noticed it has been fiddled with. It looks like (Y/N) has taken a look at this before, I wonder what's wrong with it. I tried starting up the truck but it just wouldn't give. Lifting the hood I started to look for every possible engine problem. I finally figured out the problem, the fuel injectors needed to be cleaned and reset in. This shouldn't take me too long.
End P.O.V.

Arriving at 6am Leon finally walked through the door exhausted. His hands covered in grease and god knows what else. He started another shower as the noise made you stir a bit but not wake. He decided to check on you before getting in. He walked through the kitchen and into your softly lit bedroom. Your red lava lamp gave off a glow making the room a bit more inviting. He made his way to the edge of the bed moving some hair from your face. Your eyes were puffy from crying and your nose was red from rubbing. He looked at you and gave a small shallow sigh. " I don't know why you think I wouldn't see you as anything but beautiful." he whispered quietly. He pulled some sheets over your exposed shoulder as you buried your face into the found warmth. Exiting the room he takes one last look before leaving your door open a crack.