𝐇𝐔𝐅𝐅𝐋𝐄𝐏𝐔𝐅𝐅'𝐒; 𝐀 𝐂𝐎𝐌𝐌𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐀𝐑𝐘

𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐏𝐡𝐢𝐥𝐨𝐬𝐨𝐩𝐡𝐞𝐫'𝐬 𝐒𝐭𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐕

"So, how was everyone's holiday?" Abby asked pleasantly.

"Hell." Said Lenny.

"I almost stabbed three grown men." Said Dicky.

"Mine was okay actually." Said Eddy.

Christmas had now come and gone and the four of them were plunged back into their school lives.

"Well, it can't have been all bad." Said Abby.

"It wasn't." Eddy shrugged but Lenny and Dicky did not seem to agree.

"You don't know my family." Lenny huffed. "My brother and sister wouldn't give me a damn second alone. I'll honestly never understand why my parents continued to procreate after they had me. I mean, why risk it all when I'm such a win?"

"Okay, calm down Miss Over Achiever." Dicky scoffed. "Try having my parents and five shitty siblings top of that. I spent half the time contemplating suicide and the other half trying to convince people to do it themselves."

"Hmm. Yeah, maybe that's why your siblings are so shitty to you." Eddy hummed.

"Shut up! You don't have any siblings!"

"Not anymore. After my sister died, I mean." Eddy spoke so straightforwardly that it threw Dicky off-balanced.

"Oh...right."

"Nice going." Lenny snickered.

"Shut it, nerd!"

"Oh. Ouch." Lenny clasped a hand over her chest wearing a mask of true, unfiltered apathy. "Nerd. Such pain that word causes me. However will I recover from such a blow?"

"That's it! I'm killing you all in your sleep!"

"Hey! What did I do?" Eddy objected.

"Oh, except you." Dicky nodded to Abby. "You're cool."

"HEY!" Eddy waved his arms wildly but Dicky pointedly ignored him.

"Already screaming I see."

The four Hufflepuff's looked up at the familiar voice to find their very own Head of House, Professor Sprout.

Professor was generally a pretty chill lady as Professor's went. She taught Herbology which led to Eddy always and only referring to her as 'plant mum'. She was confused at first but after a month or so it wasn't worth the effort to correct him. She didn't interfere with their antics too often either way. Probably because she knew there wasn't much point. After teaching for a certain amount of years picking out the lost causes was practically second nature.

"Hello, Professor." Abby greeted her politely.

"We can't be in trouble yet!" Eddy exclaimed. "We only just got here!"

"I know." Sprout nodded. "And that's why I'm wondering what you could have to scream about when you only just arrived?"

"Oh, man, there's always reasons to scream." Said Eddy.

"I have a list." Added Dicky. "I carved them on the rock I want to be used as my tombstone."

"Mine's in the back of my Muggle Studies notebook." Said Lenny.

"Is there any way you can temper the need to scream?" Sprout sighed. "Your house Prefects are quite...unsure how to deal with you lot."

"Well, they clearly haven't tried everything." Eddy shrugged.

"He's actually right for once." Said Dicky. "I haven't seen any knives or battle axes or flame throwers so they can definitely try harder."

"That's not the point." Sprout frowned.