𝐇𝐔𝐅𝐅𝐋𝐄𝐏𝐔𝐅𝐅'𝐒; 𝐀 𝐂𝐎𝐌𝐌𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐀𝐑𝐘

𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐏𝐡𝐢𝐥𝐨𝐬𝐨𝐩𝐡𝐞𝐫'𝐬 𝐒𝐭𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐕𝐈

"...nineteen...eighteen...twenty..." Dicky and Abby counted off as Eddy pushed another grape into his mouth.

His personal best was thirty-seven and so he was hoping to make it an even forty. Lenny, Dicky and Abby were all fairly certain he was going to choke and die before that happened but Eddy had told them not to underestimate the power of dangerously overextending jaw tendons. Basically, that meant his jaw was so fucked up that he could practically unhinge it like a snake. Of course, that lead to days of aching and pain afterwards, see how human's jaw were not designed for that kind of extension, but Eddy had never been one to not defy mother nature.

"...twenty-three...twenty-four...
twenty-five..."

Lenny glanced up from her book at the three as a dribble of saliva ran down Eddy's twin. She made a face and quickly looked down again. Paying Eddy full attention for any long measure of time was painful.

"Hang on." Abby reached for a napkin to wipe the drool away.

Eddy gave her a silent thumbs up in thanks.

"This is beyond disturbing." Said Dicky, grinning in gross fascination. "Your jaw should not be able to do that."

Eddy just shrugged and reached for another grape. The four of them had raided the entire Hufflepuff table for grapes. Sitting on the table in front of them now were sixty-four green grapes. Eddy would never be able to fit them all in his mouth of course, but back up couldn't hurt.

"...twenty-nine...thirty...
thirty-"

A loud screech filled the hall as owls flew in from the high windows.

"Mail's here!" A student cried out as though that wasn't totally obvious.

"And like that my interest is elsewhere." Dicky tilted his head to look up at the ceiling.

Eddy grumbled something incomprehensible through the grapes.

"What was that?" Abby made the mistake of asking.

Eddy dug a finger into his mouth and pulled out a grape. That singular grape seemed to be keeping things together as every other glistening grape immediately followed. One rolled across the table and stopped right in front of Lenny.

"That's just not right." She grimaced, nudging it away with the corner of her book.

"I said, Dicky you rude mother fucker!" Eddy rubbed at his jaw. "I was getting there!"

"Uh-huh," Dicky muttered, attention still elsewhere. His eyes brightened. "Hey, Abby, isn't that Cristy?"

"Hmm?" Abby looked up as the grey and white owl swoop down onto the table. "Oh, hello Cristy."

The owl blinked it's large yellow eyes at her, dropping an envelope on to the table.

"Thank you." Abby smiled at him, stroking his head and slipping the envelope into her robes.

"You're not going to read it?" Asked Eddy.

"I'll save it for later." Said Abby.

Cristy snatched up a grape in his beak and then spread out his wings and took flight.

"Oi!" Eddy hissed. "That's mine!"

But the owl was already gone.

"Sorry." Abby smiled apologetically.

"Don't apologize to him!" Dicky snarled. "He's not going to break his own record let alone get all of these into his freaky mouth."

"I resent that!"