Finally Free

23

S O P H I A | forgiveness?

"Rise and Shine." Paige's voice echoes in my head. Ow, shit my head hurts so bad. I'm surprised that I didn't have any nightmares last night, but I think Carter's presence helped. The idea of someone merely being there, knowing I'm not totally alone helps in of itself.

"Where's Carter?"
"He's downstairs making breakfast, can we keep him here forever?" She sighs. "Why can't you date him already?" I fully open my eyes and I see her freckled face sitting directly in front of mine.

I laugh, not answering her question. "Liam has a class and will be gone all day, so I want to know everything about you two." She says as she helps me get up. I look in the mirror. "Ew, I look gross, hand me something, anything to fix this" She tosses me a hairbrush. I brush my hair and brush my teeth. I make myself look the best possible for this early in the morning.

Carter is downstairs, making pancakes. His raven hair hangs low in his eyes as he leans against the marble counter, waiting for the pancakes to finish. I find myself imagining him without the sweatshirt on, a thought that was totally involuntary and disturbing.

I swallow, inhaling a breath, trying to decide what to say, yet I can't focus because I keep watching him move around the kitchen. So he beats me to it, "Morning Soph." He chirps loudly, snapping me out of my daze. "Hey."

"I know I'm hot but you staring is kinda creepy." I roll my eyes, "Shut up." I change the conversation as fast as possible, "You didn't have to make breakfast."

"It was nothing, I love this kitchen, it's so much better than mine." He jokes.

"Well I would love to have you here everyday." I think Paige likes him more than me. I walk over to him and he winks at me. I swear my knees gave way

Seriously, why am I not dating this man. Am I scared? I'm pretty sure any therapist would just call it a fear of commitment. I feel like I just need to deal with Gavin first.

The tension build up is short because Paige is watching us. When I look back over at her she is watching us until we make eye contact with her. She quickly looks down at her phone. "Weirdo." I mutter. "You two are adorable." She says with a mouthful of pancakes. 

"How'd you sleep?" Carter leans into me. "Really well you know I had a dream about Dylan O'Brien and Alex Turner fighting over me." Paige's whimsical voice chimes in. We both turn to look at her, an incredulous look on my face and an amused one on Carter's. She stops mid sentence, "Oh right. Never mind I'm not here."

Carter turns his attention back to me. "Surprisingly no nightmares but that's because I wasn't alone. I'm worried about tomorrow, it's the first rehearsal." I look down into my breakfast. He rubs my arm with his thumb, his eyes full of sympathy.

"What are we doing today?" Paige springs up on us. "We are not doing anything. " I motion between her and me. "I need a day off." I sigh. She looks sad, but not angry. She gets it. "I already miss you." She says sarcastically. She puts her plate away and walks upstairs.

The minute she is gone Carter turns to me. "Are you going to be okay?" I just get lost in his eyes, getting momentarily distracted. I nod, "I just want a break from it all. The assholes, and the drugs, and the drama." 

Before he can respond his phone buzzes. When he picks it up, he frowns slightly. "Alright I have to go. My mom is going to kill me if I'm not home in an hour." I don't want him to leave, but at least I'll see him on Monday. 

Monday, I'm dreading Monday. What am I supposed to say to Gavin?

"Bye Soph." He smiles when he leaves. He gives me a quick kiss on my forehead and then I can't help but bite my bottom lip at his cute face when he waves from his car.