The Kissing Booth: After The Break-up, Elle and Noah

Part 4

Its been six weeks since graduation.  I'm hanging out with Lee by his pool. Noah is still home, but is the one avoiding me now.  If we do see each other he just watches me, but doesn't try to talk. He spends most of his time at his dad's office or locked in his room.  I have seen him watching me from his window, but as soon as I notice it he stops.  What is he thinking about when I catch him watching me like that?  It makes me nervous is he starting to remember what happened at the graduation party?  I'm so nervous that he is going to remember and start trying to get me to talk to him again.  I wonder if my nervous state is what is causing me to feel nauseous all the time or am I just coming down with a stomach bug?

Mrs. Flynn tells us lunch is ready.  Lee and I head into the house.  As soon as I smell the food my stomach revolts, I throw my hand over my mouth and run for the bathroom.  I tell Lee I'm not feeling good and I head home.  I call my doctor and he can fit me in in the morning.

I walk into the exam room after being called into the back.  The nurse goes through all the normal questions and even asks when my last menstrual cycle was.  I have to really think about it.  I'm a few weeks late. It was before graduation, but I'm not really concerned because my periods have always been irregular.  The doctor comes in and we discuss my symptoms. Then he asks me when was I last sexually active.  I tell him the date and he says we need to do a pregnancy test.  I take the specimen cup he hands me and go to the bathroom.  Could I be pregnant with Noah's baby?  What am I going to do if I am?  I'm in shock.  I come out and hand the doctor the cup.  It doesn't take long for him to come back and tell me I'm pregnant.  He makes me another appointment and prescribes prenatal vitamins and Iron.  I leave his office.  I go straight to Noah's.  I have to tell him and decide what to do.  I pull up just as he is walking to his bike to leave.  I walk towards him and say, "I need to talk to you, its very important."  He looks at me and says, "now you want to talk.  There is nothing to talk about, remember?" and storms to his bike and rides away.  I stare after him. Now what should I do I go home to think.  

I spend a lot of time alone in my bedroom thinking about different ways to tell Noah.  It's not so much telling him that concerns me. It's his reaction and the future that concerns me the most.  I know he is going to want to do the right thing and stay with me and our baby, but I don't want him back out of his sense of responsibility and out of obligation.  He will want to leave school to take care of us, but I don't want him to ruin his future either.

I've decided what I have to do.  I'm going to leave and go have my baby where no one knows.  I don't want anyone to know what I plan to do.  I'll have my baby in secret and after Noah graduates from Harvard I'll come back and tell him.  It's the only way it doesn't ruin Noah's future as well as mine.  I start to make my plans.  I can't tell Lee I'm leaving, he will want to know why and I can't tell him. If I do tell Lee he will try to stop me and he will tell Noah and they will both try to stop me.

My dad leaves for work and takes Brad with him to drop him off at a friends for the day.  I'm alone, well I better get used to being alone.  I packed during the night, I leave the note I've wrote for my Dad.  I don't tell him why, but I tell him I have to do this.  I tell him I will keep in touch and to try not to worry.

I pack up my car and start to drive.  I don't have a specific place in mind so I just start driving.  Lee has been trying to call me, but I've ignored his calls, but I need to tell him I'm gone.  I'm far enough away now that if they were to come looking for me they wouldn't find me.  I pull into the next rest stop. I take a deep breath and call Lee.

I'm already crying when he answers.  He knows I'm crying as soon as I say Hi to him.  He asks, "What's wrong?"  At first I can't speak.  He gently says, "come on Shelly, tell my why you are crying?"  I finally say, "I've left and I'm not coming back.  I'm so sorry to leave like this but it's something I have to do.  I can't keep doing the things I've been doing. It hurts to much to be where all the memories are and then running into him at times makes it so much harder."

Lee is in the kitchen I heard his phone ring.  I walk in to get something to drink and hear him yelling.  He yells, "Elle, don't do this."  What is Elle saying she is doing that has Lee so upset? I don't even try to pretend I'm not listening.  Lee keeps looking at me like he wants to kill me.  What is happening? What is she doing? I know it has something to do with me, but I don't think its getting back together. Not with the way Lee is acting.  He says, "Elle what do you mean it's to late, it's already done? What am I supposed to do without you?" He is silent as he listens, then replies, "Phone calls aren't the same. I thought you found that out already?" He is crying but he says to her, "I understand, hopefully you will come back soon, that getting over him doesn't take long.  I love you and miss you already."  he hangs up.

He looks at me, "Why couldn't you stay away from her?  Now she has run away and says she won't be coming back ever."

"What do you mean she has run away? We have to go find her. We have to bring her back." I'm panicking she can't be gone.  I'm looking frantically for my keys I have to look for her.  Lee grabs me and stops me.  He says it's to late and starts to really cry. I pull him to me and we hold onto each other crying.  He has lost his best friend and I've lost the only girl I will ever love.

I call Elle it goes to her voicemail. I tell her how sorry I am.  I tell her if she comes home I will leave her alone and won't bother her again.  I tell her I will always love her and never give up hope that she will someday forgive me and come home.  I tell her if she can't come home for me then to come home for Lee. He is lost without her, but then so am I.