Memoria. | Kozume Kenma

06

"Keiji.."

My heart starts to pound inside my chest, making my body unstable and weak. I did not expect to meet him here, from all of the places, I met him here. His eyes widen when I called his name out, he freezes right at his spot, face turning red at the sight of me.

"(Y/n).. You're.." He mumbles, words not clear from the tension between us.

"(Y/n)." I turn to my side to the voice, seeing Kenma looking at me with worry. He walks up to me, picking up the bottles from the floor; one of them also spilled. I kneeled to help him pick them up.

"I-I'm sorry.." I apologize after dropping the bottle again, spilling it more. I bite my finger, feeling my body waver so much that I couldn't breathe anymore. "I-I'm sorry.. I.." Kenma takes both of my hands, moving it away from my mouth to stop me from biting myself any further.

"It's okay. Calm down, we'll just clean it up." He says in a soft voice, looking straight into my eyes. I shake my head, feeling my chest rise up and down as I tried to breathe. "(Y/n), it's okay." He whispers, voice a lot softer than before. He gives me a small smile, eyes soft as he stared into mine. I slowly calmed down, finally able to breathe.

"(Y/n), let's go." Kenma helps me up, letting Honami take me away. I glance at Keiji, quickly looking away before my attack goes on. I hold on to Honami and hug her arm for me to cry on her. Honami pats my back, helping me breathe as I cried.

I can't go back there, I don't want to go back there. Not after seeing his face after years. I don't want to step into the court, I don't want to see him. Memories that I've hidden in the back of my head, came rushing in, the moment I saw him. I felt my heart sting.

He's one of the biggest reasons why I started getting anixety attacks. Keiji was my best friend, we always spend time with each other everyday, we were very close— well, I thought we were. He denied our friendship after a month of us being second years in middle school. He had the biggest impact on me, he said he was only using me. He avoided and ignored me, leaving me all on my own.

Keiji denied our friendship on my birthday, the day he promised he'd be taking me to watch the fireworks as a birthday gift. The moment the fireworks flew into the sky, he broke the bond we had. He yelled out to me his true feelings, telling me I was such nuisance, a burden, every negative word you could ever say to a person, was thrown at me.

"(Y/n), you have to go back there. The team needs you." Honami whispers into my ear, caressing my back as I quietly cried on her shoulder. "Sooner or later you'd have to face your traumas. This won't be the only time you'd be seeing him. You'll see him at the Inter High, Prelims.. You'll see him more often. I'm here for you, and so is everyone on the team." I slowly nod as I backed away to look at her; she gives me a warm smile, wiping my cheeks clean with her thumb.

"Do I really have to?" I ask, voice cracking in the middle of my question. She gives me a nod, brushing my hair back and tucking strands of it behind my ear.

"I'm here." She smiles, taking my hand to bring me back inside.

I stood before the door, scared of taking another step; once I enter, I will see him again, I might have another attack. I stare at the floor and at my hands, playing with them to try and ease my nervousness. I look up, seeing Kuroo-san and everyone else behind him, smiling as they waited for me to come inside. I turn away, getting pulled into the gym by Honami and Kuroo-san.

I got attacked by smiles and pats on the head, making me let out a chuckle. Kuroo-san ruffles my hair, messing my hair up; I kinda felt dizzy after that. I held on to Honami for support, leaning my head on her shoulder as I looked at all of the boys. I met eyes with Kenma who's at the back, smiling at me, I returned it.