Memoria. | Kozume Kenma

33

"Kozume Kenma? I was waiting for you!"

I froze. My heart started to pound.. the first thing that I heard from her was my name. She remembers me... She remembers me! She remembers who I am, we could be fine! I could still be by her side! Her parents wouldn't have to break us apart.. She..

"Though I don't remember who you are.. The doctor said that a pudding head named Kozume Kenma would be coming over to drop something off for me." She.. doesn't. I was fooled— I expected too much.

My heart started to pound more, the pain increasing every second at a very immense rate. I was too hopeful for the better when I knew that it wouldn't ever be the case. She wouldn't remember who I am, we already went through the worst case scenario.. of course she would never remember me or anyone at all.

I take a few deep breaths before turning around to see her. (Y/n) wore a very painful smile on her face, it's like she feels bad for not being able to remember who I am.. and yet I'm the first one she met. How much more does it have to hurt for me?

I just stared at her with a blank expression, still fighting the urge of crying over hoping for something that was impossible. Seeing that she's struggling with the lower half of her body, it just means that she couldn't move them the way she wants. She's going to need physical therapy.

"Can you tell me who you are..?" I just nod, walking up to her. I take a seat right beside her bed, wishing that I could kiss her right now.

"Kozume Kenma, your seat mate. That's all that there is to us." I'm your boyfriend of 1 year and 4 months— almost 4 months. I am in love with you and you are with me— we used to love each other— you used to love me.

"O-Oh.. I was expecting we had a special bond.. Sorry for troubling you with writing down my notes for me." I would do it again and again without complaint just for you. She gave me a small smile, it's forced.

"Here." I take the notebook out of my bag, handing it to her. "I have to go. I'll just bring the others someday later." She gave me a nod and a cute smile.

"Kenmaaa I love you! Pleaseeeeee gimme your attentionnnn."

I get my bag and head out, not sparing her another glance. It hurts to see her face without being able to do anything. Can't give her a kiss, nor can I give her a hug. What hurts the most is hearing her voice without hearing anything in return. She wouldn't say any I love you, I missed you, I'm sorry.. I will never hear them ever again.

I hold on to the handle, biting my bottom lip as my tears started to fall. "Kozume-san." Fuck, anything but that.. It could from anyone but you.. "Thank you for your kindness." Why are you so formal with me? I'm your boyfriend..

I nod without turning back, sliding the door open, and closing it behind me. The door had a small glass window for people to see from inside and out, I couldn't just fall to my knees right in front of it. She'd know that something's suspicious.

I turn to my right and took a few steps forward before falling to the floor. I thought I was prepared for that, but the moment she said my name.. I just thought that there was a chance. It was way harder than I imagined it would be. Maybe I shouldn't have loved her as much as I did..

The best choice that I made is the biggest mistake of my life.

I pull my necktie to loosen it up, I felt like I was choking and suffocating to death. I held on to the floor to support myself, covering my mouth as I cried. (Y/n) forgot who I am, made me think that she didn't.. she smiled at me.. wished and thought that there was more to us. I'm sorry (Y/n), but your parents told me not to.