Always His { Completed }

49🌸.

Song - Blame by Grace Carter and Jacob Banks.

It was a one-way track
Why don't you love me back?
Why'd your temptation crack over the truth?

You thought you could fill the gaps
Thought I would run right back
I didn't pick this mess
I wouldn't choose
To blame it on you...

~~

I shot up from the bed, panting heavily. I had the most horrible dream. Logan's ex girlfriend was back and she was showing me pictures and videos of her and Logan together. Then there was blood...there was lots of blood and pain. I woke up in the hospital and the doctor told me I had a miscarriage. It was so scary. How could I lose my baby ? My only hope? I checked under the duvet and felt my stomach. Something didn't feel right. My head was also pounding very hard like my skull was going to split in half.

A knock came from the door almost immediately.

" Come In." I said but I wasn't even sure if my voice was loud enough for the person to hear.

Tess came in. " Good morning , Emma. I hope you're feeling better?"

Better? No . I was confused.

" I had this weird dream that I was at Avery's party and I passed out and the next thing, I was in a hospital. Then the doctor told me that...that I lost my baby."

I watched her eyebrows slowly form a crease as her she twisted her fingers together. " I'm sorry , Emma but it ...it wasn't a dream."

My eyes shone in horror. " You mean..."

She nodded slowly, " Yes. I'm so sorry."

Hot tears spilled down my eyes as it dawned on me that my so called nightmare was really happening. I looked around the room I was in , it wasn't the hotel room. I was in Tess and Calvin's apartment. That means... that means I had really lost my baby. I lost Hope. The events of last night replayed in my head like a black and white movie. The doctor breaking the second most painful news to me. The first was when my Mom called me and told me that my Dad had a heart attack. Somehow this pain was so much worse because at least he didn't die. My baby died. She didn't even get to grow into a fully formed fetus. I never got to have  my first prenatal and antenatal appointment. All I had left was her sonogram. The picture that would always remind me that I had a little ray of hope left in me but it was gone now.

" She really died." I sobbed as I folded my knees to my chest and wrapped my hands around my legs.

Tess came over and sat beside me as she hugged me . " Emma, it's going to be fine . It's all going to be okay."

" No it's not." I shook my head quickly. " It wasn't a dream. It wasn't a dream . My baby is gone . It wasn't a dream." I kept repeating the words like I was forcing myself to believe them but I just couldn't . I couldn't just agree that for the past few weeks, another life that was living and breathing through me had been inside me and now there was nothing. My belly was empty. Just like that. How does one convince themselves that this is their reality?

Another knock came from the door. It was probably Calvin. He opened the door a little bit and put his head through. " Hey Emma..." He stopped when he saw I was frowning. " What's wrong?" He walked into the room.

Tess sighed. " She woke up and thought everything that happened was a dream."

Calvin shook his head . " I'm so sorry, Emma." He sat at the foot of the bed. " I wish there was something we could to make you feel better even a little bit."