Song - Miss Moving on by Fifth Harmony.
I'm breakin' down
Gonna start from scratch
Shake it off like an etch-a-sketch
My lips are saying goodbye
My eyes are finally dry
I'm not the way that I used to be
I took the record off repeat
It killed me but I survived
And now I'm coming alive...
~~
Logan's POV
I've never felt more alone .
The amount of loneliness I've felt in the past few days has overwhelmed me . It's funny how you have people surrounding you but you still feel like you're the only one in the room .
Even the presence of the kids or the occasional visits from Rachael could not take away this scourging feeling of gloom that I felt . The kids now understood that Emma was never coming back even though I didn't tell them anything. I guess they figured it out from my morbid silence . I think they're scared to ask me about her again but I wouldn't know . They seem to go about their daily activities just fine even if I know they still miss her .
Going to Ross Mobile and burying myself in work was the only thing that could make me take my mind off the sorrows of my heart but sadly , I still had a few more weeks in these crutches . I hated every moment of feeling immobile. It felt like a restriction in my life . I felt powerless. Nothing should ever restrict me . All I could do was sit in my study all day and call Rachael or my manager to find out how things were going in the company .
The worst part is now I truly know that Emma will never come back to me makes me feel like I'm just existing not living . Most time I feel numb , staring into space and wondering what my life has become. Emma was the person who brought me out of darkness. She saved me . Unfortunately for her , I plunged back into the darkness and refused to come out of it . Still she proved herself to be an angel.
She forgave me .
She still forgave me after everything I've done to her. I didn't deserve her forgiveness. Not even one minuscule bit of it , but she still found it in her heart to forgive me .
Was she even a real human ?
Who gets hurt as much as she was and still forgives so easily ? Only Emma that's who . She's a good person . She's compassionate and kind and always willing to see the good parts of other people even when it's clearly not there . Sometimes I wonder how she does it . She should write a book titled; How to be Emma Durson . Sadly I would never get to suggest it to her , because she forgave me as a way of saying her final good bye .
She forgave me because it was the only way she could truly let go of me . She wanted me to let go for her too. If only she knew that it as going to be harder than expected. How did she want me to do it ? How did she want me to pretend like we never happened? Because I couldn't. I close my eyes and she's all I can see in my dreams . Most times I day dream and see her walking towards me with an enchanting smile on her face but as she gets closer , the smile fades and she disappears. It's torture . Fucking torture . Knowing that I can never have her . Knowing that she will move on with her life and leave me behind . Knowing that will find someone who will treat her better than I did . Who will love her and make her a priority in his life . It's torture knowing that she will be happy with this other person while I will never know the true feeling of happiness again . I've finally lost her and I have no one to blame but myself .
YOU ARE READING
Always His { Completed }
Romance{ Sequel to His Nanny .} * P.s This is not a stand alone book. You have to read the first book ' His Nanny' to get a good understanding of the characters and happenings in this book. *** With the belief that her life is over, Emma is back in her ho...
