Finding the Path// Moey Fanfic

4//

I was amazed when I saw the amount of likes, views, and comments on the gaming video Cat and I had made. It was up for a day, and the numbers kept rising! I never would've imagined my subscribers waiting so patiently, especially when every video was just me talking about how I felt.

Everyday, I felt a knot form in my stomach at the thought of letting them down. This was my commitment, and I had to pick it up again. It was a few days after New Year's, and I quickly added another resolution to my list.

Film more videos and vlogs.

I decided since I haven't talked to many of my friends lately, I would have a little Skype party. I chose a few of my friends, and texted them.

ME: Hey, wanna have a Skype party?

They didn't even answer, but Kalel was the first to call me.

"MEGHAN!" She exclaimed the moment her face appeared on screen. "YOU'RE ALIVE!" Her hazel eyes glew with excitement. I think that was the most excited I've ever seen her.

I laughed at her excitement, "Yeah, I'm alive."

A notification appeared on screen. It was Stacy, Lizzie, and Cat. (Even though Cat lived with me, she joined in.)

"Isn't it amazing? I didn't think she'd post a real video!" Cat squealed.

"Meghan, I'm so proud of you!" Stacy cheered in her slightly scratched voice.

"Thanks, guys," I beamed. "But I feel bad though. I feel like I let my fans down... 'Cause I don't really post much. If I do, it's depressing."

"You didn't let them down," Lizzie stated, "you were just never in the right mood to post. You couldn't put your heart in it." I guess she was right.

"So what're you gonna do next?" Kalel's head cocked to the side like a dog.

I shrugged. "I need ideas. Maybe we can do something together?"

"Maybe when I come down for VidCon I can film," Lizzie offered. "Or we can make a server with you. Like on QuakeCraft."

"Yeah, and the rest of us can do collabs and make gaming servers too," Cat finished. "I think I'm too excited for you, Meghan."

"No, Kalel is," I laughed, "you should've seen her before you logged on. I wish I got that on film."

"Shut up," Kalel tried to hold back a laugh.

I laughed at her for a moment, but frowned again. "But what if I can't keep it up? What if I just break again?"

"Come on, you'll be fine. You got so far, I think you'll do amazing." Stacy gave me a heartfelt smile.

I shrugged. "I've been doing better, but that unintentional meeting with Joey yesterday really did a number on me. Cat keeps telling me to face my fears, but what's left to face? Nothing. Right?"

"I know it'll sound weird, but you've barely begun to get over your fears," Lizzie piped up.

Kalel, Cat, Stacy, and I all have Lizzie a look full of confusion. What was she trying to say? "Meghan, you keep saying that you're over the past. That you're over Joey. But you really aren't. The only fear you've conquered was officially coming back to YouTube. There are plenty other things to get over. You have to forgive Joey, forgive yourself, and move on in life." It felt as if Lizzie was reading my mind with her clear, blue eyes. "You've only scratched the surface, Meghan."

"Forgive myself?" I echoed.

"Yes. You keep accusing Joey for something he may or may not have done. Which I do understand, believe me. But accepting what really happened is the key. If it wasn't his fault, give him another chance. If it was his fault, then I don't care if you never speak to him again, but just at least tell yourself that it was all real. It wasn't a daydream transformed into something evil. It was reality. You have to fix yourself." Lizzie finished giving me her advice, then readjusted her headphones.

"Okay," I accepted. "Hey, I gotta go, but I'll talk to you all later. I may try recording some more. See you later, guys."

"Bye," my friends murmured in sync. I shut my laptop, and opened the gaming video Cat and I had made. I scrolled through comments, and there were so many heartwarming ones. For a few minutes, I felt like I was back in my happy place. I refreshed the page, and a few dozen likes and comments appeared. I replied to some, to let people know I was really okay.

But one particular comment caught my eye. I held my hand to my mouth, and bit down on it to stifle a scream.

It was from Joey. It read, "I'm so proud of her. I really missed my Meghansan."

•••

This was kinda boring, it was like a filler chapter. I have big ideas for the next one.

-Burry00