Don't Let Go

7

Killua POV

"Killua STOP IT!"

I turned to face Gon, my best friend in the whole world was crying.

Because of me.

"G-Gon I-" I wanted to hug him so badly, plead for his forgiveness.

"No. You don't get to talk anymore." Leorio picked Gon up and made his way to the door. The rest was a blur as they left. I stood in front of the door for a couple seconds, my eyes welling up with tears. Kurapika was behind me- I didn't know how he was feeling but what I said was awful.

I couldn't face him.

I quickly ran into the guest bedroom, slamming the door behind me. I crumpled to the floor and sobbed into my hands.

This is all my fault.

"Killua?" Kurapika's voice was soft and comforting, it made me feel relaxed just hearing it.

"W-what do you w-want?" I sniffled through my hands, I was too weak to even stand.

"How about we get you in your pajamas and watch a movie? I can make you dinner." He had no resentment in his voice.

I started crying harder.

At this point he opened the door and quickly leaned down next to me. He lifted me and up and carried my shaky frame to the bed. He laid down next to me and pulled the covers up to my chin.

"How about you tell me what's bothering you before we get you into your pj's ok? That way you can have all the bad stuff off your mind when you eat. How does that sound?"

It sounded really really nice.

"I d-don't even know what to say." I could feel another crying fit coming on, but I was quickly put off guard.

Kurapika had wrapped his arms around my waist and held me, his chin resting on my shoulder.

"You know. I had this same issue when I first came to visit Leorio. Remember when I got all mad and stomped out of the room?" He gave a sad laugh and squeezed me tighter.

"I think I do. It was p-pretty funny." I couldn't help but giggle at the memory of his temper tantrum.

"I was pretty sad and confused then. I felt like my whole world was crashing down on me, I had no one to go to. But I received a very good piece of advice from a good friend. You wanna know what this friend said?" I turned around so my stomach was now facing Kurapika's, burrowing my face in his shirt. He awed and hugged me.

"You are not weak for crying. You have just been strong for too long. You don't have to be strong anymore. There are people who want to love and support you." He ran his fingers through my hair, I bit my lip as tears spilled out again.

"You're not weak Killua."

I began sobbing again.

"Oh buddy! I'm so sorry you're feeling this way! If I could take it away I would!" He curled up around me, his arms supporting me as I violently shook. He must've learned that from Leorio.

"I r-really like Gon, I think I a-always have b-but I don't think he likes me and I don't know how to move on so I've been trying to p-push him away but it only hurts him and me more! When he said that h-he wanted a girlfriend l-like the movie I wanted to die right there. No matter w-what I do he won't see me as anything other than a partner in battle since there is no way he would wanna be my friend a-after that."

Kurapika rubbed my back as I sobbed onto him, he didn't say anything until I grew more calm.

"I d-didn't mean what I said b-back there. You're a really good f-friend." I pressed my hands onto his stomach, he was still cradling me with his body when he spoke.

"That's very sweet of you to say Killua. You're a good friend too. I'm very proud of you for getting that off your chest, I know that must have been difficult for you." He started to sit up, still holding me, and carried me on his hip to the dresser.

"Let's watch that movie now ok?" He set me on top of the dresser as he picked out my clothes, me and Gon had unpacked them the other day instead of leaving them in our suitcases to get wrinkled.

My idea.

He took out a tank top and basketball shorts of mine. He helped me take off my shirt and pants, getting me dressed into the pajamas.

On any other day I'd be mortified out of my mind but considering the fact that I had just poured my heart out to him I didn't care much.

"You know if it makes you feel any better, I haven't been exactly the best to my crush today either. I think I may have hurt his feelings too." He hoisted me back onto his hip again and carried my still shaking frame into the living room.

"R-really?" I bundled up into a blanket after I got on the couch. He started to clean up the fort next to me.

"Mhm, how about we make a deal. If you apologize to Gon, I'll apologize to Leorio. Deal?" He set down the blankets he had folded and held out his pinky. I couldn't help but giggle and wrap his pinky in mine.

"Deal!"

Kurapika smiled and took the blankets into Leorio's closet, the living room was now normal again when he came back. He brought a two hoodies with him.

"Leorio's hoodies are great for when it's cold. He is so big it's like a blanket!" He handed me the hoodie as he put the other one on. "I'm going to make us some waffles, you pick a movie ok?"

I put the hoodie on and nodded.

For someone who was usually so uptight and strict he was really good at making me feel better. He loved me a lot and I could feel it.

Eventually he finished the waffles and I picked a scary movie. We both cuddled under a blanket fashioning Leorio's hoodies and eating waffles with chocolate milk. Kurapika had no issues spoiling me.

About half way through the movie Kurapika had begun to doze off, myself included. We both held onto each other and drifted off into a peaceful sleep.

In the words of Kurapika;

  I've been blessed with good friends.