Addicted To You (MAYHEM #1)

Chapter 20

If she had just said no then I wouldn't have noticed. But she'd stopped and frozen up on me for a minute. That was what gave her away. And I felt like a piece of shit. I was a piece of shit.

Damn it.

She loved sweet tea, and she'd been so proud of herself for making it right. And I had screwed that up for her by being an ass.

Well, she was gonna make some more sweet tea, damn it. I was gonna stand right there with her while she did it. If I had to stand over her daily, she was gonna keep sweet tea in her fridge because she liked it.

I didn't want her associating it with a bad memory. Not when teaching her how to make it was one of my favorite memories.

I placed the food on the table and headed into the kitchen. She was getting two plates, and the frown on her face told me she was worrying over the sweet tea thing.

I didn't deserve her time. I wasn't good enough to get her sweet smiles, but she gave them to me anyway.

"Nasaan yung mga teabags, love?" I asked, walking over to stand behind her.

Nakita kong nanigas siya sa kinatatayuan niya.

I placed my hands on her shoulders and gently squeezed. "I was an asshole. You scare me, and I didn't know how to handle it at first, but I'm good now. I won't run off on you again. I don't think I can even if I want to. The idea makes me fucking sick to my stomach." I stopped because I had opened my mouth and was saying all kinds of shit I had no business saying. Regrouping, I finished. "Gagawa tayo ng sweet tea, okay? At sa tuwing pupunta ako dito, kailangang may lamang sweet tea yang ref mo. Hindi yun para sa akin, but because you like it. I want you to have the things that make you happy."

She relaxed under my hands and then she nodded. "It was silly. I should have kept making it," she said, then turned to slay me with the most sincere, honest, fucking precious smile on the face of the Earth.

There was a tight painful feeling in my chest that was completely unfamiliar, but it hurt like a motherfucker and breathing was difficult.

"I'll get the tea bags and sugar. You boil the water," she told me, completely unaware something was happening in my body that was freaking me the hell out.

I managed to nod and move over to the stove.

Fumbling, I filled the pot with water. No reason for the clamp on my chest to be there. What was wrong? She had smiled at me. That was it. Sweetest smile I'd ever seen, but still, it was just a smile.

"The other night, that was my first date. Not just with Lucas, but my first date ever. I'm not good with guys. I don't understand them, and sometimes I do things that I shouldn't and react ways that are ridiculous, and I don't realize it. So, if I do something dumb or say the wrong thing, just tell me. I promise, I'll get better."

I couldn't turn around and look at her just yet.

I knew I needed to because that was the most she had shared with me about her past, but fuck, how could I look at her while I processed this? Fury, confusion, bafflement, and pure icy cold jealousy swamped me at one time.

Her first date? How in the hell was that possible? She was almost twenty years old. Did they keep her locked away in an attic?

Hindi ko pinahalata sa kanya na naapektuhan ako doon sa sinabi niyang si Lucas ang unang naging date niya. Wala rin naman akong balak na i-date siya. I didn't date, for starters. I tried that once, and I sucked at it. But I didn't like sharing her either.

She was mine. No, she wasn't. She was my friend. 

Boundaries. I needed some boundaries in my head.

Kaibigan ko si Felicity. She made me happy. She was not mine. She never would be because I didn't want someone to be mine.

"Okay ka lang ba? Bigla kang tumigil." Felicity's voice sounded worried. I was worrying her.

I let out a breath and relaxed my face into what I hoped was a casual expression. Glancing back over my shoulder, I gave her a reassuring smile. "From what I've seen, you're pretty damn near perfect. Don't apologize. Anything that happened with us before is because I'm fucked up. Not you, love. Never you."

I turned back to the pot of water and lit the gas on the stove top. I couldn't stand there and watch the water boil, so once I was finished, I turned back around to face her. She was wringing her hands and watching me.

Reaching over, I grabbed one of her hands to make her stop. "I meant what I said. When I act like an ass, it's because I'm all kinds of fucked up. You are perfect, Felicity. I swear. Stop worrying, and let's go fix our plates. The lasagna smells incredible."

The tension in her shoulders eased. "Okay," she replied, and started to walk toward the table. The she stopped and glanced back at me. "For what it's worth, I don't think you're fucked up. I think you're perfect too."

So not what I needed to hear her say. She was going to kill me slowly, and I was going to let her because I wasn't going to be able to stay away from her.

It was time I faced the facts.

I was addicted to Felicity Hernaez. More addicted than I'd been to anything in my life.

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Finally! You admitted it, Kyson! Next update will be tomorrow! Bibitinin ko na muna kayo hahaha XD

;))