First Installment for the MAYHEM series
"Innocence was never meant to be addictive."
Addiction has been a part of Kyson Montenegro's nature, and women, in particular have always been his favorite obsession. Being the lead singer in a band has its pe...
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Kanina ko pa gustong matulog pero hindi ko magawa. Gumugulo ngayon sa isip ko ang tanong ni Felicity.
She'd asked for something. It hadn't been the way most women did it, but she'd done it nonetheless. She had wanted me to make promises.
At dahil baka may masabi na naman ako na pagsisisihan ko, agad akong umalis. Kung sa ibang babae galing iyon, marahil ay tinawanan ko lamang ito.
But we are talking about not just any girl. We're talking about Felicity-and I couldn't be flip with her. She'd been honestly asking me for an answer. I hadn't given her shit.
Which made me feel like shit. She deserved more than this.
"Nakatulog ka ba?" Sawyer asked as he walked into the living room in a pair of boxers and his hair sticking up all over the place.
"Yeah, some."
Sawyer squinted against the sun coming in through the blinds I had opened. "May nasabi ka naman sigurong hindi maganda," he said, then yawned. " 'Cause you look like you've been punched in the stomach. Ain't no man who has had sexy little Felicity in their arms should look like that."
Sawyer was an even better choice for Felicity. I hated to admit it, but it was true. He was going to be a lawyer. He wasn't terrified of commitment, and he didn't screw around as much as me. He'd actually done a relationship before. One that worked. Not one he'd fucked up.
Banging on the door jerked me out of my thoughts.
"What the hell?" Sawyer growled as he stalked to the door.
His angry snarl immediately evaporated as my sister pushed him aside. "Go put on clothes," Tatiana ordered him, then swung her gaze to me.
Shit. She was pissed.
"You," she said, pointing a finger at me like I was five fucking years old, "had better tell me you fixed that mess from last night."
"Not your business, Sis," I replied. She didn't have her scary-as-hell husband there to stare me down and dare me to be a smart-mouth.
"Siguro nga hindi. But I'm making it my business because you're m brother and I love you," she snapped.
"How do you figure that you barging into my place and yelling at me means you love me?"
She glared at me and shook her head. "Sometimes, I want to slap your face and knock some sense into you."
I would threaten her in return, but we both knew I wouldn't lay a hand on her. I loved her bossy ass too much.
"What do you want? Gusto mo bang malaman kung inuwi ko si Felicity and then I apologize? Well, yeah, I did. I brought her home. We talked, and I told her I was sorry even if her stubborn ass thinks it was her fault, which I can't for the fucking life of me figure out why she is convinced of that. She took up for me, Tatiana. She fucking took up for me. Who the hell does that? What is wrong with her?" I could see by the look in my sister's eyes that she saw too much. So I shut up. I was talking more than I should.
Napabuntong hininga si Tatiana at saka tumawa. "Well, nangyari na," sabi niya at bigla na lang siyang naluha. "Inisip ko na hindi mangyayari iyon. Alam kong hindi si Melissa. I love that girl, but I knew it wasn't Melissa. I even told Melissa that one day the right girl would come along and you'd know. She'd rock your world. That she would heal you. Fix what they did to us." A tear slid down her face, and she sniffed.
"We deserve to be loved, Kyson. I got that a lot younger than you did when Jeydon came into my life. He showed me unconditional love, and he healed me before I was jaded and hard. But you"-she covered her mouth as a sob escaped-"you didn't. I left with Jeydon to get away from it all, and there was no one to save you. No one to show you that you were worthy of love. I was too young to know what you needed. I failed you, and you got jaded. You built walls. You learned to use all those good looks to charm girls out of their panties and good sense, but it meant nothing to you. They weren't filling your void." She stopped and wiped her face.
I didn't say anything because I didn't want to accept this. She was wrong. This was wrong.
My past and what I was were too twisted for anyone to fix. I didn't want to be fixed.
"She fills your void," Tatiana said when I didn't say anything. "Don't lose this. Fight for it."
"I'll only hurt her," I said because it was true. "And I'd rather die than hurt her."
"Oh, Kyson. She sees it. Why can't you?"
I didn't want to hear this anymore. My head was already a mess.
"She sees what?" I asked.
"She sees where she belongs."
I shook my head. Only my sister would think that I was worthy of Felicity. Anyone else who knew me knew that wasn't true. "I can't."
Tatiana looked like I had kicked her puppy. We stood there in silence for several minutes. I expected her to fight me more, but she had given up already.
Sawyer cleared his throat, and I turned to see him standing there with clothes on and his arms crossed over his chest. "Well, I sure hope that coffee shop owner's son is worthy of her then, because if you don't snatch her up, he's waiting in line. If it's up to her, you're the winner, but if you bow out, then Lucas has an easy way in."
Once I had thought I understood jealousy. I had seen the girl I was sure I loved in the arms of another man. One she wanted. One who she deserved. But that hadn't been jealousy. It had been loss. Melissa had been a lot like me. Hell, Melissa may have been just like me. When life had felt lonely, I knew Melissa was there.
This burning possessive fury that was pumping in my veins at the thought of Lucas touching Felicity or seeing her orgasm or kissing her lips was all consuming. I'd never felt this before.
"Kyson, meet jealousy. It's a bitter bitch," Sawyer said with an amused grin.
