SEVENTEEN ONESHOTS

ten: DK

TW
Mentions of insecurities
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"Woah, this is your place?"
"Yeah."

"It's pretty nice." I say, as I place my suitcase beside the front door.

"Thanks." Seokmin says and helps me take off my coat. I grab his elbow so he can guide me to the couch.

"Are you okay?" he asks once we sit on his couch.

"Yeah, yeah." I tell him.

Seokmin stands up to get me a cup of water as I look around around the small apartment. He hands me the cup of water and I thank him.

"Sorry I couldn't help with the moving." I say and take a drink of my water.

"Y/N, we've talked about this before. You don't have to apologize for little things like that." He sighs.

I knew that I say sorry too much but I couldn't help but feel guilty. A long distance relationship isn't easy for everyone but it feels extra hard for me. Which makes me feel even worse.

Am I supposed to feel this way?

Seokmin distracts me from my thoughts and puts his arm around my shoulder to pull me closer.

"Are you tired?" he asks.

I nod.

"Do you wanna take a nap?" he asks and kisses my cheek. I nod again and lean my head on his shoulder.

"Okay, I'll go change and prepare in my room." Seokmin gets up and goes to his bedroom.

When he leaves, a sudden realization hits me.

Me and Seokmin will stay in the same room. Normally, I always feel comfortable with him but that was six months ago.

I was so much prettier back then.

Am I too fat?

What would he think of my bare face?

How do I tell him I'm not sure if I want to take a nap with him?

'Oh Seokmin, I don't want to sleep with you because I'm scared of what you think of my appearance?'

Who says that?

"I need to take a shower." I say abruptly to stop him while he walks away.
Seokmin turns around.

"Okay, the bathroom's over there." he says and points to a door.

He leaves for the second time.
I go to where my suitcase is and kneel down in front of it.

I unzip it and rummage for some pajamas. Unfortunately, the only clothes I could find was a gray tank top and a pair of black shorts.

What if my arms looked too chubby?

What would Seokmin think of my stretch marks?

Is my stomach too big?

I grab my makeup bag and go to the bathroom. I lock the door and change but then stare at myself in the mirror. I rub the stretch marks on my thighs and wonder if I should try to cover them up. I start to think of every single negative situation possible and panic.

I take my concealer from my makeup bag and start to put them on my thighs to cover my stretch marks.

"Y/N?"

I look up and see Dokyeom standing in the doorway with a worried expression on his face. "Y/N, what are you doing?" he says more seriously.

"No, this isn't what you think it is!" I oppose.

"Y/N are you okay?" He says.

Seokmin walks up to me and takes the concealer away from my hands. "No, I'm not okay!" I yell. It felt so good to get it out of my system but I still feel tears forming in my eyes. Seokmin places the concealer on the rim of the sink and he hugged me.

Seokmin and me stay silent. It felt like everything else didn't exist and I only have to focus on one thing in the world. Then, he puts rummages around my makeup bag. I turn my head in confusion and he takes out a makeup remover and cotton pad.

Seokmin puts his fingers underneath my chin to lift my face up and starts to remove my makeup for me. He misses a few spots but overall does a pretty good job. I remove the rest of it by myself and I gaze at myself in the mirror.

"See? You look beautiful either way." Seokmin says and places his hands on my shoulders. "Oh, I almost forgot." he says again. Seokmin takes another cotton pad and gets on his knees. Then, he starts to wipe the makeup on my thighs off.

"Uh Seokmin, you don't have to-"

"No, I want to."

I let him finish then he places his hands on my shoulders again. "Does your identity change with or without makeup?" he asks.

I shake my head.

"See? I don't see you as 'Y/N without makeup' or 'Y/N that put on a few pounds'. I just see you as Y/N. And you're beautiful inside and out."

I know that that was supposed to make me feel better but it really didn't. Everyone says 'your beautiful', or 'don't care what other people think' but it doesn't make me feel any more confident.

As if he can read my thoughts, he places his chin on my head. "I know it's hard to feel confident about yourself but I want you to know that I love you whatever you look like."

This time, I felt a little bit better. 

"Thanks Seokmin. I love you."  say with  genuine smile.

"I love you too, now let's go take that nap."

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Hey, I haven't uploaded in about 2 weeks, and I'm sorry about that.

Long story short, I got huge writer's block and my mental health hasn't been the greatest.

Anyway, have a lovely day and stay safe! :)