Is it worth it?

The truth hurts, it leaves you broken

        Alex's POV

        I made it to school as fast as I could without being late and hurried to my locker, my school sucks everyone here is out to get someone else. Except for me, I don't really talk to anyone so I dont' know anyone. It's kind of lonely but it's better than fighting all the time. 

        I made it to first period just on time and sat in my seat it wasn't far after that the teacher was interrupted by a phone call. While he was on the phone I got a note, which was odd because people don't like me so I figured it was someone trying to fuck with me. I opened the note and it read, 

                                                Watch your back slut...

        That was all it said I looked around the room trying to find who sent it but no one was looking at me or acting different. When the teacher hung up the phone he looked straight at me and told me to go to the front of the classroom, I don't think I did anything wrong but whatever. 

"Ms. Renee," I never understood why he liked using my last name so much, "your mother called the school saying that you need to get all of your belongings because you are moving, we will miss you here at Oakland. Have a great life."

        I smirked at him and said my goodbyes, I'm glad to get out of this place there isn't anything for me here anyway. After I left his room I started heading to my locker when one of the girls who usually bullies me stopped me. 

"Word gets around fast emo slut, remember just because you're moving doesn't mean you will be left alone, I'll come after you. I'm going to miss tormenting you everyday, bye bitch."

        At this point I didn't care what she had to say to me I was leaving and I wouldn't have to worry about her anymore. I'm confused though my parents didn't tell me anything about moving, I don't know why we are or where we're going, but at least I'll get a fresh start. 

        After I got all my stuff out of my locker I started heading to the main office so I could meet my mom. When I got to the office I noticed she was crying, my mom never cries I was really scared. I was also trying to figure out where my step-dad was, he's always with her. My mom took me outside and she said,

"Alex, I want to tell you the truth about what happened with your father."

        When she uses the word 'father' she means my real dad and not my step-dad so I was really nervous. When I was about 10 she told me that when I was a todler 3 to be exact my father was a drunken alcoholic and he'd gone to rehab twice because when he was drunk he was abusive and my mom was protecting us, my mom told me she divorced him and he fled without being seen again. Now she's telling me that was a lie? My thoughts were cut short. 

"Your father was an alcoholic and he did go to rehab twice but when he came back the second time he started drinking again so I told him to make a choice, he either had to go to rehab again or we would get a divorce. He was mad at me that night so I slept in your room and he stayed in ours, that night he died, the police classified it as a murder but recent evidence has shown that it was suicide. Your brother already knows and David (my step-dad) is moving our things, we decided to get out of the house he died in so we're moving to the West side of town, you will attend the school there. I know it's a lot to take in you were very close to your dad, you were the one that found him but we need you to stay strong so that we can get out of here."

        I couldn't believe it my dad was the only one who'd ever seemed to care about me and I'd made it a goal of mine to find him but now that I know the truth there's nothing I can do, he's gone and I will never get away from David or my mom , I'll never see my dad again. Finding him was my last hope at being happy, why do bad things always happen to me? 

        But I held all of my emotions in for awhile at least, I'd asked my mom where he was buried and she told me so before we leave while my mom is checking the house to make sure it's ready to be sold I'm sitting at my dads grave talking to him and crying. After about an hour my brother, Josh came to get me but before we left we both said goodbye to our dad and Josh hugged me. 

        We got to our house this was going to be the last time we could walk in it so I ran through the house like a little kid until I got to my parents room, this is where he died. This is where I found my dad dead, it's sad actually because looking in the room now I can picture that day like it was yesterday, its like me knowing the truth unlocked a door in my head of all the memories of my dad. He was an amazing guy when he wasn't drunk I never left his side. I started bursting out crying, the pain was unbearable, why does everyone leave me? I used to have a best friend and when I changed because of my depression she left me, only making it worse it made me start self-harming, that never ending cycle of regret. At this moment that was all I wanted to do but I couldn't do it not now at least I'll have to wait until we move. 

        I stopped crying and helped everyone finish loading the car and then we all got in. I put my headphones in and put my music on shuffle, only to have them ripped out of my ears by David. 

"What was that for?"

"None of your music, not today you will talk to us like a family I'm sick of you always listening to that crap!"

        If it were anybody else I would've defended my music but I don't want to piss him off even more, I'm already waiting for the day he hits me, lets not make that today. The car ride is going to be hard without music especially with the news I just learned, we aren't even talking anyway, he's listening to his country music, so I'm left alone with my thoughts not a good idea. I luckily have a rubber band on my wrist so I started to pull it so that it would sting my wrist.