If Only [Completed]

12 - If Only I ... -

Xiao Zhan POV
Beijing, 06 - September - 20xx 05.23 AM

I open my eyes and look around.
"Where am I?" My throats hurts, it feels so dry. Everything is white.

"Good morning Mr. Xiao" I heard someone's voice.

I saw a middle aged man dressed in white coat smiling at me sadly. A Doctor. I must be in a hospital. I groan when I feel pain in my whole body. What the hell happened?

The doctor ask me a few question while examining me, I answered them deliriously.

I bite my lips and groan when he touch my ribs, shit that was hurts.

"Mr. Xiao, you broke one of your ribs and you have cuts all over your body from the glass shards. Thank god. When we heard about the crash we think your situation is a lot worse. You can stay here until noon and you're free to go home. Just came back once a week to check up" The doctor said with a kind and relieved voice.

"Crash?"

"Yeah, You had an accident last night and get transferred here"

Accident? My head hurting badly. "My head hurts"

"That's must be a side effect from the hit, you hit your head on the car's door. Thankfully nothing broken, it just light concussion. We'll give you some pain killer"

"Mn" I close my eyes.

"Then please get a rest"

"Thanks" I mumbles.

"Um-Mr.Xiao. Here is you belonging, the police retrieve them from the site. Please take a look"

The nurse helped me to sit, she gave me a small plastic basket. I look inside, rings, wallets, bracelet, broken phones and a broken watch. Yibo.

"Where's Yibo?"

"Excuse me?" The nurse look at me confused.

"The man who get into accident with me. There's none?" My heart beats faster, I have a weird feeling.

"Ah him? He arrives here still awake, asking for you. The emergency personnel said they found you inside his embrace. Unfortunately, we unable to save him, he passed away before we can get him into the surgery. He lost lots of blood and we have no blood bag with his blood type. We're sorry" The nurse look at me with pity.

"What did you say?" I shouts.

She look at me, startled. "Um- The man you looking for.. He- um- He passed away last night"

Everything went dark.

*********************

I held to my bracelet. The one Yibo gives last night.

"Here, this one is a heart. My heart. It is yours now" I remember he is saying that with a voice full of love.

The heart is broken, only half of it is remaining. I clutched them. Gasping for air.
My heart hurts.

I bit my lips trying to hold the sobs.

"I'm sorry" soft voice whispers, I look up meeting Shijie's red eyes. I can't hold it anymore, and broke down, I wails.

Shijie ran to me, and engulf me in her usual warm comforting hug, but that's only make my heart hurts more. I miss Yibo's warm hug.

I clutched to her arm. Sobbing heavily.

"He- he's gone jie. He left me. How dare he do that! A-after all those things he did yesterday! He just left, without saying goodbye" I scream and she hug me tighter, crying along with me.

"I'm sorry Zhan"

"I can't believe he's gone!" I wails, my chest feels stuffed, it's hard to breath.

"I- I mean, Why? Why am I here and he isn't?"

"Somethings are just out of control Zhan" Shijie whispers softly, patting my back trying to calm me down. I wails louder.

"Calm down Zhan. Take a deep breath" I tried to do what she said only resulting in choked sobs.

"He, Yibo, he- he's been acting weird since yesterday morning. He had a premonition or a dream or whatever. He knew. He knew everything Jie" Shijie let go of her hug looking at me with sad eyes.

"He tried, he keep trying to tell me, but I- I- I didn't believe him"

"And last night. After dinner, he ask me not to get a cab, he said let's take a walk home. But I refuse, because I want to get home fast and cuddle with him. I should've said yes. The cab is damned. He knew but he still choose get into the cab with me" I close my eyes trying to forget what happened.

"Then, he started saying he loves me, he kissing me, the next second I hear a loud car horn, Yibo jumped to me, I scream and everything went black"

"Whe- when I woke up. He's gone Jie. They said They found me in his embrace, he saves me, I'm alive but he isn't" I want to scream so Yibo knew how I feel. He shouldn't do that, He should've let me die with him.

Where is he! I wailed.

"He loves you Zhan. That's why he do that" Shijie hug me once more, caressing my hair.

"But he left me Jie, I hate that" I buried my face in her shoulder.

"Right before we get into the cab, he told me, he told me about how I thought him to love. Loving him was so easy to me. It's just like breathing. Yibo, He just wanted to say everything before we get into the cab. He's saying goodbye Jie" I wails once more, not caring of everything. I just want to feel better, lighter. But instead I feel more miserable. My heart break even more.

"Let it out honey. Cry, Scream, I'm here for you" I cry harder.

There's nothing to do beside crying.

Yibo, tell me. How am I supposed to live without you?

*********************

I sat down looking at his tombstone blankly. Our friends already leaving. Only Shijie and YuChen-Ge still here, waiting for me.

Yesterday, I learned everything about Yibo and his family. He has none. So I decided to bury him here, in Beijing.

In Loving Memory of
A great friend, An Awesome Lover and Kind Man

- Wang Yibo -
05.08.19xx - 05.09.20xx

"Death doesn't put an end to Love"

Death doesn't put an end to love, that what I said to him yesterday. He smile when I said that.