The Kissing Booth: Adult Edition

I Want To Hold Your Hand

There was a tapping at my bedroom door. I'd been sitting alone on the floor for a while. "Yes?" I called out from where I was sitting. The doorknob turned, only for Marco to poke his head in. "Elle?" Marco, my eyes lowered softly. That's right, I didn't even hear him get home earlier. I came straight up to my room after.... after.....

He looked at me worriedly. "I saw your light on underneath your door. Are you alright?" Was I alright? I felt all strange and out of sorts, and not in a good way. I'm sure that's the impression I gave considering the position I was sitting in, with my arms hugging my legs into my chest. My head lowered a little as I mulled over his question to myself. Am I alright? Am I alright? I don't... feel alright. But should I worry him with that? I don't want things to get weird for him too.....

A sad smile drew across my lips as I continued to gaze up at him gently. "I'm sorry I didn't come down to say hi when you got home." "No, no; don't worry about it," Marco quickly replied. He hesitated to come into my room without invitation, which I had no mind to deny him anymore. My grin deepened in its corners. "Come have a seat," my tone was milder this time. I always felt better when he was with me.

That's all the prompting Marco needed. He came in, shutting the door behind him. Sitting down on the floor beside me, he hugged his legs the same way I was. I gave him one more smile before glancing out in front of me. I looked away; Marco did not. I could feel his kind eyes upon me the whole time.

"Is everything ok, Elle?" My fingers clutched together harder at his inquiry. I honestly didn't know what to do just then. Should I tell him the truth? Should I keep what happened between Noah and me to myself? Marco and Noah have become better friends recently, and I wouldn't want to do anything to endanger that. But.... But I don't like keeping things from Marco. I trust him so much; he's the one I want to tell everything and anything first. Even more than Lee now.... Still, I don't know how he'd take this. What should I do? I don't know what to do..... "I don't want to keep secrets from you, Marco." My lips parted a sliver.

"Yes?... Actually, no; not really. I met up with Noah on my way home." "On your way home? But wasn't he going to meet you at the station?" Marco sounded surprised. "I texted him not to come, since it was raining; but he came anyway. When we got home, we..... he..." I hesitated for a moment, but only a moment. "He almost kissed me; in the living room... Noah almost kissed me," my eyes met Marco's while I said this.

Marco's eyes widened but he didn't say anything initially. After a second, his own mouth opened a little. "He did?" "Yes," my head slowly nodded. "And did you guys...?" "No! I-I mean no; we didn't kiss. I.... I stopped him just in time," I couldn't look him in the eye while saying this exactly. Another pregnant lull felt between us; I could sense Marco's eyes burning a hole through me.

"I see..... Then what happened?" "He went with Lee somewhere and I came up here. I wanted to think..... things over." "Oh..... And how are you now?" "I..... I'm confused. This whole thing has left me feeling....." I couldn't finish the sentence. Marco watched me for another moment before spinning his head forward. He stretched out one leg and rested his elbow on the kneecap of the other.

"So.... What are you going to do now? Are you and Noah going to.....?" "I don't want to talk about it with him. It would just be too weird." A third pause fell between us. "Do you want me to talk to Noah for you?" He eventually offered. I looked at him, not turning down his offer right away. But the longer I stared at his face- his beautiful face- for, I realized that I couldn't bring him in all this drama. We're not highschoolers anymore; Noah and I are adults now. We can solve our own problems.

My head gave a small, gentle shake. "Thanks anyway, Marco. I can handle it; I just wanted to talk to someone about well.... everything." Marco's stare softened onto me. "Are you sure, Elle? I want to help you, if I can." "But you already do so much for me, Marco. It doesn't feel right asking you for more." "But I do it because I want to, Elle." "Marco....."

Our eyes locked again, growing intense on each other. Marco's lips parted a tiny bit. "Just so you know, Elle..... I'll support whatever you choose to do. I won't let anyone take advantage or hurt you if you choose your own way. If you end up deciding that getting back with Noah is what's best for you, I'll do everything I can to support you. And if you decide on something else, I'll stand behind you just as strong. No matter what you choose, Elle, I do what I can..... so long as you're happy. That's all I really want..... your happiness, Elle."

Marco..... I couldn't stop ogling him. He's willing to stand by me, no matter where we go from here..... He cares about me so much- so much that he's willing to see me get back together with Noah, if that's what's best. He supports me unconditionally..... just like how I support him. And I'm so incredibly, unspeakably thankful. How did I get so lucky...?

My eyes finally lowered onto him. My head turned forward again and I took a deep breath in. "You're so good to me..." I eventually let out. He looked at me. "W-Well, I suppose so....." He sounded a bit frazzled, in the most charming way possible. I don't need anything else, but..... "Just let me stay with you, while you're here," Marco's eyes widened as I scooted over to lean up against his side. My head rested up again his shoulder. I just wanted to be close to him for a little while- just a little while.

Marco was too stunned to react immediately. We stayed like that for a moment, but soon enough he broke the peaceful still in the room. "If you ever need anything, Elle.... Please don't hesitate to tell me." "I don't need anything else." "Really? Nothing at all?" He gently pressed. "No...." I began until something popped into my head. Something that shouldn't be there, but I couldn't help but desire... "Uh actually, there is one thing..." "What is it? If you tell me, I'll get it for you," Marco didn't hesitate. I sucked on my bottom lip for a second. I know I shouldn't get attached to Marco. I know this is a mistake. But just for tonight... "Could we.... Could you hold my hand? Can you hold my hand?" I really want this, just for one night. I want this one single thing for me.

"I want to hold your hand."

Once again, Marco didn't react right away. But soon, the sensation of him smiling filled the room and my heart. Without a word, his left shuffled over to take hold of my right hand. Our palms touched, and his long slender fingers coiled protectively around mine. From the moment our hands caressed each other, my eyes shot wide open. This whole new experience began to fill me; trickling in first like a stream, then flooding in like Niagara Falls.

Physical contact with special people affected me completely differently. With Noah, it was heat and passion. Noah'd place his hand on me and I'd be on fire. My body become ablaze and it'd take hours to cool down. But Marco... Marco and his precious, precious hand..... With him, it was totally different.

It's not flames; it's fireworks. It's Christmas morning, butterflies that land on your fingers, and your favourite line in every song. That very first sip of water when you're dying of thirst. Seeing a masterpiece for the first time that takes your breath away. No, it wasn't a hot blaze at all; it was all those little moments in life that bring one so much happiness. It was all the magic in the world around us. All the tiny, seemingly insignificant reasons that added up to a glorious, worth-while life. Yes- with Noah, it was passion; with Marco, it was endurance. A metamorphosis set on by a single caress..... My heart wants things it doesn't even know. Yeah, I can't do this too often. I feel happy... too happy.

I feel high.