The Kissing Booth: Adult Edition

The End Of An Era

But you.....

The mood back home was like someone had died. Everyone helped me pack, yet no one said a word the entire time. The landlady said that the three of them could stay in the house after I left; that being the case, no one wanted my room. Too painful, Lee told me once. He, Marco, and I were taking care of the living room while Noah was bringing boxes down the stairs.

Marco had been particularly quiet since he heard the news. He picked up the fuzzy blanket we used while watching horror movies. His hands held it for a couple of seconds, giving it a gentle squeeze, like he was reluctant to let it go. When he did, he set it down without packing it and turned for the door. "I'm going to buy some bread," was all he said. The rest of us watched him leave without a second glance; the door slammed harshly behind him.

Lee, Noah, and I didn't react instantly; we just watched the now closed door with a sense of sadness. Lee eventually blinked to me. His voice was still and unhappy. "Elle, can you go get the sheets from your room? I'll wash them one last time before you go." I didn't even say "sure". I just climbed up the stairs and into the now sparce room where I once slept. The door was open behind me, not that I heard any footsteps follow come up outside.

Noah entered my room with a sort of solemn demeaner. He'd been different too since he heard the news; more quiet, I'd say. I was in the middle of gathering up my sheets when he stood in me threshold. He watched me for a moment, not moving his lips an inch. Then, as I straightened up, before I could pick up the sheets he approached me. Neither of us uttered a sound as he proceeded to wrap his long arms around me. I didn't exactly hug him back; just sorta stood there unmoving. Noah pressed my head into his board chest; I could feel his head rest on the top of mine.

Eventually his lips parted, and I heard him breathe. "I dated Chloe," he began. I said nothing. "I dated so many girls after we broke up. Looking back, I was trying so hard to fill the void.... The missing piece of myself you took with you so long ago." Noah... Still, I didn't make a sound. He went on. "It's so obvious now. How many years did I spend in the dark? God, I was stupid..... Back then, I was so afraid to leave you on your own. All I wanted was to grab you. But instead, I let you go.... I let you go when I wanted to hold onto you with all my might. You were like my own personal sun- all my warmth disappeared with you."

Noah's voice cracked and he hesitated for a second. It seemed like there was more he wanted to say, so I waited patiently. His hands trembled slightly. "Heh, it's funny..... You know, back in Masters..... I was riding down the coast with some friends one day in early summer. I was cruising along the beach, not really thinking about anything in particular... and then, all of a sudden, standing in the sand..... I thought I saw you. It was only for a second, and of course it wasn't really you.... But it all came flooding back to me in that instant. I finally realized that I hadn't let you go.... That I still..... That you were the one I still secretly looked for everywhere. It took me so long..... I'd forgotten just how much I loved you." "Noah," my lips parted for the first time. But he didn't stop. His armed tightened around me. "I couldn't stop loving you, Elle. I couldn't stop...."

Noah's voice fizzled off. Slowly, he placed his hands onto my shoulders and gently pulled me away from his body, but I didn't go far. He held me firm into place; his eyes locking intently onto mine. His hands gripped me so passionately. With neither of us smiling but staring into each other's eyes, Noah finally closed his. He brought his face down in towards mine. His eyes were still shut when our lips met. Noah had his eyes closed the entire time he kissed me- mine remained open. He kissed me for what felt like a good minute, eventually removing his mouth from mine. His head moved back only so far as he could see my face again. There was a look of surprise but not shock when he found tears rolling down the sides of my cheeks. "Elle?"

"I wish you were him."

Noah's eyes widened, only to lower again in a matter of seconds; it didn't take him long to figure out what I meant by that. Now it was my turn to speak, and speak I did. "You were once everything to me; you were all that mattered. I couldn't stop loving you either, Noah... I loved you- I cried for years over you when we broke up. I missed you wherever I went; I missed you at Berkeley and in Paris..... There was a time I would have given anything to hear your voice again. Losing you was like losing everything so precious to me.... And I vowed I'd never go through that again- never again." My lip shook as I got caught up with myself a little. I had to remember to breathe. "But I made a mistake. I let him in..... He made it so easy to let him in....."

Noah's stare grew once again. His hands held me close, but I could feel them soften. "Marco....?" Was all he had to ask. My head slowly nodded up and down; though it wasn't a happy nod. "I'm sorry, Noah, but I truly fell out of love with you. I don't know when it happened, but I realized a long time ago that I had to make myself move on.... if I ever wanted to be happy again. And I was.... I was happy. Marco made me even happier.... I was so wrapped up in everything that I didn't see it..... I didn't see it until it was too late... I couldn't see clearly.... that I'd grown to love him so much." "Elle...." Noah's hand's were finally releasing me bit by bit. Even more tears fell down my face, dripping onto the carpet.

My lips couldn't stop trembling. "Now I'm going back to Scotland where I won't see him anymore.... I won't see Marco. I'm going to go through that whole pain again.... the pain I tried so hard to avoid. I won't be with Marco..... I'm going to be on my own in the UK; there I'll be.... away from him. And I'm going to spend so much time,

wishing he was somehow here again."