Hold Me Down

chapter 8

"Will," he says with a polite and sheepish smile. I glance up at Will.

My stomach turns and I lean over to vomit on the ground.

Jem holds my hair out of the way. Will takes me into his arms, telling Jem to go back inside, and gently leads me over to a more secluded area. I note, with deep gratitude, that it's in relative darkness.

"If you're going to throw up again, do it here." He has one hand on my shoulder. The other is pulling my hair back away from my face. I vow to myself that I'll never ever drink again. This is just too appalling for words. Finally, it stops.

My hands are resting on the brick wall of the side of the building, barely holding myself up. Will reaches into his pocket and hands me a handkerchief.

"You okay?" he smirks at me. I scowl and snatch the handkerchief. I cannot bring myself to look at him. I'm ashamed, disgusted with myself. I wish I was anywhere but here.

I groan and put my head in my hands. This has to be the most embarrassing moment of my life. This is even worse than Will's rejection the other week.

I risk a peek at him. He's staring down at me, his face composed, giving nothing away. I note that Jem has gone back inside. I'm alone with Will.

"You are absolutely pissed," he notes dryly. I give him an annoyed look.

"We've all been here, perhaps not quite as dramatically as you," he teases me. "Do you usually drink this much?"

My head buzzes from the aftermath of my vomiting and from irritation.  "No," I say shortly. "I've never been drunk before and right now I have no desire to ever be again."

I begin to feel light headed. He notices and grabs me before I fall and hoists me into his arms, holding me close to his chest like a child.

"Come on, I'll take you home," he says against my head.

"Put me down Will." I barely register that I'm in his arms.

"Tessa, you can barely stand on your own."

"I don't care. I don't want you touching me." I squirm out of his arms and drop to the floor. My knees buckle and he catches me in his arms.

"I told you that you couldn't stand without my help." He has an arm hooked around my waist.

"I don't need your help," I push him off of me and walk back towards the bar.

"Where the hell are you going?" He follows me.

"To Clary!"

"She's doing fine without you," Will rolls his eyes. "Jace is with her right now."

"Who?"

"My cousin Jace is talking to your roommate."

"What?" I don't understand.

"He was with me when you phoned."

"In London?" I'm confused.

"No, I'm staying at the Courtyard."

I vaguely wonder why he's still staying at the hotel when I remember how quickly he found me- so I asked him.

He rolls his eyes, and in my slightly drunken state I gawk at how attractive he is. Messy black hair carelessly styled that fell into his face, which he pushes back occasionally to reveal his piercing blue gaze. He's not wearing his usual black suit. Instead he's in a black hoodie and joggers. His hands are in his pocket and he looks so attractive my heart physically aches.

"Quit looking at me and answer the question," he says. I scowl. His gaze darkens.

"Have you even been listening to what I've been saying?"

I am about to respond when I am struck with a pounding headache that almost makes me want to double over. He notices me in pain and immediately reaches out to steady me. Again, I can barely register the fact that I was standing so close to Will. Still embarrassed about throwing up in front of him, I push him away and continue towards the entrance of the bar.

He turns around and calls my name. I ignore him until I feel his hand on my shoulder.

"Tessa."

"Let go of me," I say annoyedly. He releases my shoulder but follows me as I enter the bar.

I wince as I am surrounded again by noise and flashing lights. Clary is not at our table and Jem has disappeared. I find Simon sitting at our table alone.

"Where's Clary?" I shout at Simon above the noise. My head is beginning to pound again.

"Dancing," Simon shouts.

I take my jacket off of my chair and shrug it on. I would take a taxi home once I've seen Clary. I have to make sure she's okay.

A stabbing pain shoots through my head, causing me to stumble. Will immediately reaches a hand out to steady me, taking hold of my wrist and pulling me close to him. My gaze lowers to his perfect jawline and vulnerable neck. All those forbidden, unfamiliar feelings that I have tried to deny surface and run amok through my drained body. I flush, and somewhere deep down my muscles clench deliciously.

He tugs at my arm and leads me to the bar. He's served immediately and hands me a very large glass of iced water.

"Drink this," he orders me.

The moving lights cast multicolored shadows on Will's face. I watch the shades change, mesmerized. He looks at me pointedly and I take a small sip.

"All of it," he says.

Will runs his hand through his unruly hair. He looks frustrated. I do as I'm told and finish the entire glass. Taking the glass from me, he places it on the bar. I notice through a blur that he's taking off his hoodie. I stare at him as I watch his hoodie ride up the shirt underneath, revealing perfectly sculpted abs. He reaches up to brush his hair out of his eyes and I gawk at the way his black t-shirt clings to his arms.

He takes my hand once more and leads me to the dance floor. Is he taking me to dance? I do not dance. I can't dance. He can sense my reluctance and gives my hand a sharp tug, taking me with him.

He moves us through the crowd to the other side of the dance floor, and we are beside Clary and Jace, Will's cousin. The music is loudest here, pounding rhythmically inside of my head. Clary is dancing promiscuously besides Jace, their bodies clashing.

Will leans over and shouts in Jace's ear. I cannot hear what he says. Jace is tall with wide shoulders, curly blonde hair, and light, golden gleaming eyes. I recognize him from when I first interviewed Will. Clary sees me, grins and waves. I give her a wide smile before Will leads me away from the dance

I huff, annoyed at Will for not letting me even speak to Clary. I need to do the safe sex lecture. My thoughts crash through my brain, fighting the drunk, fuzzy feeling. It's too hot, too bright, too loud. My head begins to swim and I can feel the floor coming up to meet my face.

The last thing I hear before I pass out in Will's arms is his harsh epithet.

"Fuck!"