✧ 𝐛𝐚𝐜𝐤𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐠𝐞 // 𝘬𝘪𝘳𝘪𝘻𝘰𝘯𝘰 ✧

part 2 ✧

"just kidding. i just have really good inituition"

"oh... okay?"

i really didn't know what to say. not only because she said something unexpected, mostly because i was talking to someone i never thought i could ever be talking to in my whole life. i've always lived in low standarts and her... definitely lived in high standarts, that's for sure.

one thing i was trying to figure out so badly was why she was talking to a maid. isn't she supposed to do... like... celebrity stuff?

she smiled at me once more and walked to the door.

"have a nice day! bye!"

she said as she left the room with a bright smile. she's really kind for sure...

"t-thanks"

suddenly i smiled a bit while saying that. she didn't even hear that, but still.

right at that moment, it hit me. it's been so long since i've talked to someone like this. without sensitive topics being brought up, without yelling...

and i realized smiling now was pointless too. i won't really get to talk to her again anyway.

i took my way to another room where the other maids sit and eat. everyone there is at least 30 years older than me and that's exactly why i never entered that room today, except for the morning when i had to put my bag.

as i walked in the room i could hear everyone talk about me too, they made it way too obvious.

"how young... why is she doing this?"

oh, i wonder why. i wish i didn't have to do it, like any other nineteen year old people see in the streets, all dressed up nicely and happy.

i grabbed my bag and walked out of the building. appearantly there's a bus stop near so i'll just wait.

,,

i waited for a long time but there was no sign of a bus, which made me check the bus times.

shoot. there are no available rides at the evenings and i'm already late. i can't even imagine what my dad will feel- or do.

great luck i have, having to walk for 30 minutes.

but of course, if i wasted my time with another 30 minutes i'd be dead at home so the only option left is to run.

i kept on running all the way home. i almost ran out of breath but i didn't even feel that when i was thinking about what happened today.

how sayaka talked to me felt too different. maybe i'm overreacting because that conversation didn't last even a single minute but still, the way it made me smile was just... nice.

and there was the door in front of me. i walked through it and took my way to the stairs.

when i finally came to the fourth floor i rang the doorbell. i know so well the next noise i would hear would be heavy yelling.

"WHAT WERE YOU THINKING? IT'S 8PM AND YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO BE HERE AT 7"

the way my dad talks to me is totally so kind, i know. being used to it helps a lot, though. i don't know when he will actually use his mind to think instead of choosing drugs.

"i didn't realize there weren't any buses at the evening, sor-"

"DOES THAT CHANGE ANYTHING?"

"i'm just trying to explain."

he doesn't even let me finish my sentences. but like i said, i'm used to it.

"ugh anyway, where's the money you got?"

he actually wasn't yelling now. but he wasn't nice, either. not that i'm surprised.

"i'll receive my payment at the end of the week, not now-"

"DO I CARE?"

once again, me being interrupted. how surprising.

i only sighed. what was i even supposed to say to that? anything i would say would be "disrespectful" so being quiet is the best option.

"i'm sorry-"

i apologize. every single time, despite the fact i know he will yell again.

"UGH KYOKO, YOU'RE SUCH A MISTAKE"

can he tell me something i don't know, though... i know i'm a mistake by now. maybe i wasn't back then, but that doesn't really change anything.

"i'll just go to my room"

he didn't say anything after that. that's not my concern though.

i entered my room and just sat on the bed.

and yeah. that's just what i have to go through every day.

i mean... what i've been going through for the last nine years.

my mom's been deceased for the last nine years. she died in a car crash. i was in the car too but i made it out with some little injuries.

i remember the exact moment,, they took my mom to the hospital and called my dad.  she didn't wake up for about 6 hours,, and when she woke up we barely even talked.

i remember being me and my dad being so happy about her finally waking up.

"mom... are you okay?"

"i just have to rest a bit.."

"yeah, we should let her rest, let's go now okay? we'll come back tomorrow"

my dad said and held my hand, but i didn't want to go,,

if i could go back to that time i wouldn't go home again that day.

"o-okay"

i said. just as we were leaving the room i heard my mom's voice again.

"k-kyoko?"

"yeah?"

"i love you, okay?"

i would do everything i can in my life just to go back to that time. just to hear that again.

i remember having a wide smile on my face when my mom said that.

she died that midnight. the treatments were not enough to heal her injuries.

my dad fell weak. his mind couldn't win the battle between his mind and the trauma.

he became an addict when i was around thirteen. he tried to hold on for a few years but wasn't strong.

at first i didn't understand him doing that. why he was talking to me rudely, or drinking in front of me.

sweet little kyoko... was so innocent. nothing like she is now.

i think about this... how everything changed. every single day. it just haunts my mind.

i probably should sleep now anyway. there's nothing to do and i'm too tired from all the work.

as sayaka's words just kept on ringing in my head i closed my eyes.

just like that, another day came to an end.

still hoping the next one will be better.