✧ 𝐛𝐚𝐜𝐤𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐠𝐞 // 𝘬𝘪𝘳𝘪𝘻𝘰𝘯𝘰 ✧

part 12

tw: angsty kyoko O-O

"k-kyoko? everything alright?"

makoto was nervous, and scared. i mean.. that's what i could tell from the tone in his voice.

and no. everything was not alright.

i'm so tired. i'm really just so tired. i'm tired of it all by now. i'm tired,

i'm tired of this life. really.

it's been a long time since i was first emotionally tired of everything. years. but no, as far as i can guess, it doesn't seem to be coming to an end.

there are just two words that sum up everything i'm feeling right now;

pain, and despair.

pain. maybe not physically, but emotionally instead.

and despair. i have no hope left at all. no hope in anything. no hope in myself. it's fully despair.

"i'm done with everything makoto, i'm just..."

and i'm filled with angriness too. so angry that i wanna throw something, something i can take my anger off,

right at that moment, i saw the plastic vase on my desk.

i lost control at that moment. i had no idea what i was supposed to do.

so i grabbed the plastic vase and threw it on the floor.

it made a noise when it hit the floor. not a very loud one though.

"...i'm done."

i continued to speak to the phone.

makoto must've heard the noise, so he exclaimed.

"k-kyoko did you just throw something on the floor?! stop- please- please stop! just don't do anything that will hurt you, i'm begging you... i don't want to lose you all because of that maniac... please just- stop... i'm here for you, okay?"

"i-i-"

his words calmed me down a little. well, maybe some more than a little. but it didn't calm me down fully aswell.

"you know what, kyoko? i'm coming there to have a little talk with him"

"ah- makoto, no, please no. i listened to you and didn't throw anything else on the floor so listen to me on this, okay? please"

"things are getting out of control, kyoko, i don't wanna see you in pain anymore"

"i- i'll talk to him by myself, okay? just don't come"

he sighed.

"fine... by the way, maybe try sleeping a little, alright? it will calm you down, and in the meantime i'll give sayaka your number, okay?"

oh, that's right...

sayaka would maybe call me when she gets my number. i don't know.

"okay... i'll sleep"

"if anything else happens, call me, okay?"

"okay"

i hung up and laid on my bed. i guess i'll really sleep. there's nothing else to do. work starts late today, at 3 pm and it lasts until 8 pm.

so i'll just sleep.

i set an alarm to 2.30pm labeled "work" on my phone, just in case, and went to bed again.

i closed my eyes... it does feel more peaceful now.

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