Before You Go

i fell by the wayside

A/N - Warning - this was a son of a bitch to write so please tell me what you think!!

Clarke tries to pay attention to what Finn is saying, she really does. It's just that between Bellamy's eyes on her and Abby's unheard message, it's hard to concentrate of Dax's latest idiotic, drunken hookup, or Mbege's most recent crazy stunt at a party. Finn doesn't seem to notice that her mind is elsewhere, however, instead just continuing to ramble on. Clarke glances over at Bellamy, again, and his eyes are still glued to her, his gaze dark and angry, and she can tell he's deeply lost in thought. She swallows hard and looks back at Finn. She still feels shaky after her attack, but the last thing she wanted to do is wallow.

"Clarke?" Finn's finally noticed how out of it she is, and she focuses back on him, blinking.

"Yeah?" she asks, hoping he won't press her. He doesn't.

"You seem a little out of it, still freaked about the test?" Her shoulders relax when he gives her the easy out, nodding tiredly. Finn squeezes her hand. "I'm sure you did great. You gotta relax, babe. Maybe the party later will help." Clarke's stomach twists at the thought of the party, but she forces an excited smile. She knows Finn really wants to go.

"Hopefully," she replies lightly.

"Oh my god at this party last week, Mbege-" and just like that, Finn's back to talking about his friends' antics. Clarke lets her mind wander. She doesn't really want to go to this party tonight, she'd much rather curl up with her friends and hopefully Bell and watch an old movie. But Finn wants to go and Finn wants her to go, and she loves Finn. So she'll go, make an appearance, she'll come up with an excuse and leave. Hopefully that'll be enough for Finn.

Clarke's gaze lands on Bellamy again, and he's finally looking somewhere other than her. His head is tilted back, face turned toward the sky. He's clearly lost in thought, and somehow Clarke knows he's thinking back to when they were younger, when she could tell him anything. Clarke chews on her lip thoughtfully. There was only ever one thing she truly, intentionally kept to herself, even after he outright asked her.

Clarke had been a bundle of nerves that day, thought that she might actually throw up as they pulled into her driveway. She inhaled slowly and carefully, feeling dizzy. Octavia took her hand gently, squeezing it reassuringly. Clarke knew Bellamy was watching her, and tried to keep her face as neutral as possible. The siblings were glued to her side, Octavia's arm looped through Clarke's and Bellamy's hand on her back, as they approached the house. Bellamy had removed his hand to knock on the door and Clarke wanted to run. There was no answer. Clarke didn't know if she was relieved or terrified. He had to knock two more times before her mother finally answered, face expressionless. Abby disregarded Bellamy and Octavia entirely, instead fixing Clarke with an icy glare.

"Can we come in or not?" Octavia had snapped after a moment. Abby had glared, but stepped aside to let them inside. If it weren't for Bellamy's hand on her back and Octavia's squeezing her arm, Clarke would've bolted then and there. Bellamy had then instantly taken Clarke's hand, guiding her toward the staircase, but Abby blocked their path.

"I'd like to speak to my daughter," she's demanded. Clarke's stomach twisted and she tightened her grip on Bellamy's hand.

"Not happening," Octavia snapped before Clarke could formulate a reply. Abby's cold glare flicked to the girl before settling back on Clarke.

"It will be happening, Ms. Blake," Abby seethed, her voice controlled. It still sent a shiver down Clarke's spine. "You and your brother may go pack up her stuff, but I need to have a few words with my daughter."