Before You Go

i was just kidding myself

A/N - I'm sorry this is short and late AGAIN but I've been busy and uninspired :(

also, IMPORTANT!!!! i'm going camping for the next week so there probably won't be an update for a while. I'm sorry, but I PROMISE I will not give up on this fic or leave it open-ended.

Bellamy's heart aches the second he hangs up, everything in him screaming at him to run to Clarke. But no, she told him to leave her alone. So that's what he'll do. Octavia said it was because Clarke was drunk and upset, but... Bellamy can't help but wonder if she was right. If he's messing up by not letting her mess up. It's just. He can't help it. He wants to keep her safe and happy, no matter what he has to do for that to happen. He just pushed too far. And she snapped at him. She was fine until he said something. Until he reminded her of how he warned her. Bellamy presses the heels of his palms into his eyes, groaning. He fucked up. Bad, this time. But so did Clarke, and until she was ready to ask for help he needed to let her handle it. She is an adult now, after all. And she was never even his to begin with.

"Clarke?" Bellamy's coworker and best friend, Murphy asks. Bellamy looks up at him with a quiet sigh, nodding. It's a slow night, so to take the call Bellamy had just moved to one of the barstools. Murphy nods knowingly and slides a shot over to Bellamy.

"We're on the job, Murph," Bellamy reminds him with a raised eyebrow. Murphy shrugs.

"No one's gonna care, and you sure as hell need it." Well, Bellamy can't exactly argue with him there. So he downs the shot, hissing at the burning of the alcohol in his throat. Murphy leans against the counter, watching Bellamy expectantly. "What is it this time? She ok?"

Murphy had been one of Bellamy's closest friends since middle school, crashing on the Blake's couch many nights. Better than being home. Shockingly, when Clarke entered the picture, Murphy really stepped up. He and Clarke found a strange kinsmanship in the other. They came from similar situations- they had fine home lives, well off and all, but their parents couldn't give two shits about them and they didn't have anyone else. Bellamy and Octavia's mom cared she just wasn't capable. She did them a favor in leaving. It was days on end before Murphy's parents even noticed he wasn't at the house.

Clarke and him had a relationship that even Bellamy didn't fully understand. It wasn't the same as him and Clarke. It was even more sibling-like. Clarke was devastated when Murphy was shipped off to boarding school by his dad. But it was only for a year and a half, then Murphy was 18 and officially moved out, leaving boarding school without bothering to graduate. Besides Bellamy, Murphy is probably the best at getting through to Clarke when she was spiraling.

"I don't know," Bellamy admits now, sighing heavily. "Remember that dick she's been dating?" The muscles in Murphy's jaw tighten at the mention of Finn. Murphy shares Bellamy's opinion regarding Finn. He was a lot more brazen with sharing them with Clarke, causing a slight rift in their relationship lately.

"Space dick?" That was Murphy's affectionate nickname for Finn after Finn once declared he wanted to be an astronaut. Bellamy nods.

"Yeah, well last night we all went to a college party- shut up Murphy I was there to make sure no one did anything dumb- and some shit went down between them. Not sure what exactly, but Clarke was a mess. Earlier she had gotten a call from her mom and had an actual panic attack. I think they've been happening more than she's letting on. But yeah, she was a mess so I took her back to her place and she kind of exploded at me. Screamed at me for helicopter parenting and shit."

"And what was that call about?" Murphy asks. Bellamy can see the anger brewing in his eyes, but he wants all the details first.

"Octavia. Apparently, Finn and Raven hooked up and now Clarke's barricaded herself in her room," Bellamy finishes with a deep breath.

"Fuck," Murphy mutters. "So what're we gonna do?"

"Nothing."

"Bullshit, Bellamy. She needs us- she needs you," Murphy growls, pissed at his friend's idiocy. Murphy's had to watch Bellamy fall in love with this girl for ten years, and yet Bellamy still manages to shock him with just how dumb he can be.

"She doesn't want my help, Murph. She wants me to back off, let her deal with it. So I'm gonna," Bellamy says simply, sliding off the barstool and walking around to take his place behind the bar as a customer walks in. He flashes her a smile as she approaches, Murphy scowling as he goes to deal with another patron waving him down.

"What can I get you?" Bellamy asks, plastering on a fake smile.

"Gin margherita and maybe your number?" the woman asks with a confident grin. Bellamy chuckles at her forwardness, starting on the drink. Then he stops and looks at the woman. She's beautiful- long brown hair and wide hazel eyes.

"You know what? I'm actually off in 45 minutes. Can I interest you in a late dinner?" The woman looks pleased at Belllamy's offer and nods as he hands her the drink.

"Sounds like a plan..." her gaze darts to his nametag, "...Bellamy. I'm Echo, by the way."