Before You Go

till there was nothing left at all

Clarke's spiral.

A/N - this hurt to write I'm sorry

It was late. Like, really late. 3 am late. And yet his phone was ringing. Bellamy groaned loudly and flopped over to grab his phone, not even bothering to check who was calling.

"What?" he snapped irritably into the phone, his voice low and rough from sleep. Then he heard sniffles from the other end and snapped upright, wide awake. "Octavia?"

"B-Bellamy," Octavia started, her voice cracking. "Bell, please please don't be mad right now, you can yell at me- us- later, but we really fucked up Bell, I don't know what-"

"Octavia!" Bellamy snapped, concern adding a sharp edge to her name. "What the hell is going on?"

"It's Clarke," she whispered. Bellamy's heart stopped. "Bell, we went to this party and we were drinking and she's not hurt but-"

"Where are you?" He demanded, already getting out of bed and throwing on some sweatpants and a shirt. He's got a pretty damn good idea of what's going on.

"Our friend Lexa's house."

"Address, O, now," he gritted out, trying his hardest not to scream at his sister as he ran down the stairs and grabbed his keys off the table. Octavia quickly told him the address, and Bellamy let out a breath of relief when he knew exactly where they were, and that they were close. "I'll be there in ten minutes, O."

"Ok. Hurry." And with that, Bellamy hung up the phone and jumped in his truck, slamming the door shut and tearing out of the driveway. He sped basically the entire way there, and made it to the house in just 7 minutes. He quickly parked the car and jumped out, ignoring the drunken high-schoolers, his only thought being get to Clarke and O, I have to get to Clarke and O. He shoved through the crowd of idiots, huffing in irritation and then finally stopped. This wasn't working.

"Alright everyone listen the fuck up!" Bellamy shouted over the thumping music. Everyone froze. "THIS PARTY IS OVER! GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE BEFORE I CALL THE POLICE!" he roared. The music stopped and a stunned silence passed over the crowd. "Well?!" With that, everyone scattered. No one stopped to question Bellamy, the authority in his voice and the wild look in his eyes enough to make everyone run for the hills. Bellamy sighed in relief as the path to the front door cleared, running in and yelling at people to leave as he passed them.

In between kicking people out, Bellamy shouted for Octavia, his panic growing every time she didn't reply. His thoughts were rapidly devolving into a single word- Clarke. Her name swirls in his head, occupying the entirety of his consciousness. The faces around him blurred, the sounds all blending together into a roar of white noise.

And then there was a hand on his arm, squeezing his forearm. "Bellamy." Raven was the newest to their group, joining part way through freshman year. That was almost two years ago, but it was as if Raven had been there all along at that point.

"Where is she?" Is all Bellamy could manage. Raven pursed her lips, her brow furrowed. She tugged on his arm and he allowed her to pull him up the stairs. She stopped in front of a door, a girl Bellamy vaguely recognized standing a few feet away. Raven turned to Bellamy, looking uncharacteristically nervous.

"Bellamy, I know they're in trouble for sneaking out, and I know we probably all are for letting this happen, but please save the scolding for later. Clarke... she's in bad shape, she- You just have to see for yourself," Raven sighed. And then, before Bellamy could respond, Raven opened the door and everything froze.

Clarke was on the bed in the back right corner, rocking back and forth slowly with her knees pulled to her chest, her eyes squeezed shut. Octavia was beside her, hugging her tightly. Monty and Jasper were both knelt in front of Clarke, trying to talk to her. Bellamy sucked in a sharp breath at the sight, pulled away from Raven and rushed forward, pushing the boys aside as he took their place. Clarke's breathing was shaky and staggered, her eyes closed tightly, her cheeks tear-stained. Shit. It was a full-blown panic attack.