Yuris Secret!! (YurionICE!!!)

-10: Emotions-

Yuris words strike me like a fist in the stomach. I feel sick and overwhelmed. Why is everything I do wrong? I just want to be out on the ice! Is that to much, I'm asking for?! All the feelings I've been bottling up in the last weeks suddenly came crashing down on me. Pain. Fear. Anger. Grief.

My right knee wobbles, weakened from me putting more pressure on it in the last days to relive my hurting stump. No matter how I move or stand everything hurts. Every step on land and every slide on the ice. It fucking hurt!
I decide, before I collapse I'll sit down. I hate how weak I feel right now. And I hate that it's my own fault and that I should have known better this time!

Yuuri sits down next to me and I didn't need to look to know he was worried. I can practically feel his concern surrounding me.

"It hurts.", I quietly whisper trying hard to keep the tears from overflowing.

"It will stop hurting. Come here.", Yuuri says softly and pulls me into a hug. First I stiffen up, not used to being cuddled, and my first instinct is to push away. But his arms feel safe and strong and I feel myself relax for the first time in what feels like forever. Silently I start to cry like I haven't for years. Yuuri keeps whispering soothing words, while he rubs small circles between my shoulder blades.

After some time I calm down and pull away from Yuuri. I wipe the tears out of my eyes and sniff. Somehow I feel better. Extremely exhausted from training an crying and hurting but not so depressed.
„Sorry.", I mumble a little embarrassed about my mental breakdown.

"No need to be. I used to have breakdowns like this on a regular basis before Victor became my trainer. Well, we should change and head home.", Yuuri says softly and kneels down to unlace my skates.

"Thanks.", I whisper sniffling. "And thanks for the ice packs."

"Your welcome.", he smiles and carefully pulls the skates of my feet. I can't suppress the painful groan when he pulls at the left skate.

"Sorry..", he apologizes.

"It's okay.", I grit out through my teeth. I stand up, for a second loosing my balance and grabbing his shoulder for support. I pull my pants down and reveal the ugly red and swollen part of flesh. Falling back down on the bench I curse feeling the heat pulsing through my stump.

"Maybe you should take it.. off?", Yuuri suggests carefully, probably not sure how I would react. Normally I would yell, but now I'm just tired and in need of some painkillers and my bed.

"I've got no crutches.", I say not really sure if I really want to take the prostheses of in public.

"You can lean on me.", Yuuri offers, trying to convince me. Deep down I knew it was the right thing to do. But my ego couldn't accept the fact.

"What if..", I start, but Yuuri interrupts me.

"It is late and it is only from here to the car. No one will see you. I promise."

I hesitate for a second, but my leg is screaming for relieve. So I bend down and simply pull the prosthesis of. I groan in pain and feel Yuuris hand on my back. The bandage and sock are soaked in sweat and I know I did to much.

"It's ok.", he takes the prostheses as if it was the most normal thing in the world and puts it into my bag. Slowly I peal the sock and bandage of of my stump sighing when the cold air cools my hot skin. Yuuri kneels back  down in front of me and carefully slips the pant leg over my knee. I stand up on my right leg my hands on his shoulders to steady myself.

"I hate it.", I grumble. The feeling of literally not being able to stand on my own two feet. I hated it more than anything else.

"It's ok.", he simply says and pulls my pants over my hips. "Let's get you home." Quickly I pull my hoodie over my head and nod. He grabs my  bag and pulls it across his shoulders. I stand up,he grabs me around the waist and I sling my left arm around his shoulders. Slowly but steadily we walk – limp – to Yuuris car. It feels strange to be outside and being without my prosthesis. I usually only take it off when I was asleep.